Thursday, May 27, 2010

UKRAINIAN BODIES ARE GOOD FOR...

Porn and drag, I guess...half my ethnic heritage is Ukrainian. You can imagine my big feet and strong back helping to plow the bread basket of Europe. It's a also a good body type for pornography. Wonder what else Ukrainian bodies are good for?

Check out this INSANE Ukrainian drag performance from 2007 Eurovision to see what other types of post-modern activities Ukrainian bodies are good for...I'm wondering what sorts of genetic anthropomorphic skill sets led to Verka Serducka's talent...


4 comments:

  1. I've spent a lot of time in the former Soviet Union, not a small amount of it in the banya checking out other men. The banya traditionally occupies the same sort of cultural space that Monday Night football does in the US, but there men hang out naked, beat each other with birch leaves, and scrub each others backs while shooting the breeze, smoking, snacking, and drinking. Obviously, same sex nudity and homosocial spaces are much more normative than in American culture. I much prefer their traditions to ours! I speak Russian and Ukrainian and studied Russian and East European history in grad school. A friend of mine who is now a professor laughingly jokes that I was busy doing a cross-cultural comparison of penises. So, now that my credentials are established, on to the juicy stuff---

    Ukraine is one of the most ethnically mixed areas in Eastern Europe. In addition to the "base" Eastern Slav population, there is a lot of mixture with Germans, Turks (or Tartar ethnic groups), Jews, Gypsies and Greeks. The Black Sea coast has been an ethnic mixing pot for thousands of years. The basic Eastern Slav phenotype for men consists of fair hair; light eye colors; a luminescent, pale skin that (oddly) tans very easily; relatively little body hair; long legs, bubble butts, and short upper torsos; a lanky, lean build; paradoxically small feet and hands for the length of the arms and legs; and (sigh, fond memories) beautiful, lush, juicy, appetizing, LARGE uncut schlongs. Eastern Slavs are generally show-ers, not grow-ers. Despite this, the fully aroused state is rarely disappointing! Faces tend to be either very round or an angular inverted triangle that looks rather elfin. Most of the Bel Ami models are good examples of the Slavic phenotype, although they tend towards darker hair than Eastern Slavs. Body hair, big hands and feet are probably a sign of some other ethnic background than Slavic Ukrainian. So, Colby, you might owe your very nice penis and lanky build to your Ukrainian heritage, and maybe your hair color, but the feet and body hair are signs of some other ethnic contribution. Regardless of the genetic source of the large feet and hands, you do show great talent at plowing, err, large tracts of land, for fun and profit. Consider yourself blessed!

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  2. i am of Ukrainian heritage.

    if nothing else one could capture william higgins attention. looking all ukrainian and all!
    i added you to my blog roll!
    check out wayne's nude musicians.

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  3. I remember seeing this live back in 2007. It was like nothing I had ever seen. Although I had no idea what the hell he/she/it was singing or doing, I loved it and was really intrigued!

    It also sparked some controversy since the song title "Lasha Tumbai" was thought to be some sort of political message and that it sounded like "Russia Goodbye". Others have drawn parallels between the song lyrics and Nazi Germany...

    So there's a little bit of trivia for ya ;-)

    X, George

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  4. Oh wow, was definitely not expecting to bump into Verka here. Back when the performance was shown live I was totally in awe. The song is still to date just too insane and catchy at the same time I can't help but keep replaying it.

    Verka has some insane talent and the song should have deserved to win the competition.

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