Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I (DON'T) SEE PENIS: KING TUT

Some alarming research has come to me attention concerning everyone's favorite Egyptian man-child pharaoh. Due to a genetic abnormality, he may have had an underdeveloped penis. Thank God he was pharaoh. Read more here.
"This evidence has lead some, including Marchant to believe that Tut's penis was swapped sometime after his body was embalmed, suggesting a conspiracy existed to save him from embarrassment of the locker room variety, even in the afterlife."


1 comment:

  1. Where does one begin with such a shoddy piece of journalism?

    First of all, anyone who knows anything about the Carter excavation and examination of the contents of the tomb of the young pharaoh Tutankhamun (original name "Tutankhaten"!) knows that the mummy was anything but intact after the unwrapping:

    "British archaeologist Howard Carter's team initially examined the body in the early 1920s, although they primarily were interested in recovering the jewelry and amulets from the body. To remove these objects from the body, which often were stuck fast by the hardened embalming resins used, Carter's team cut up the mummy into various pieces: the arms and legs were detached, the torso cut in half and the head was severed. Hot knives were used to remove it from the golden mask to which it was cemented by resin." (This quote is from the Wikipedia article on Tutankhamun, but it is a concise summation of the facts contained in my reference, "The Complete Tutankhamum: The King, The Tomb, the Royal Treasure", by (Carl) Nicholas Reeves, Thames & Hudson, London, England, 1995. Reeves (born 1956) is an imminent British Egyptologist who has been associated with the British Museum for many years.)

    Secondly, as is documented in that same Wikipedia article, in February of this year, extensive DNA was collected and catalogued in order to determine if Tutankhamun was the son or the younger brother of the monotheistic Pharaoh Akhenaten (Amenhotep IV), who reigned immediately prior to Tutankhamun.

    Since scientists have performed these DNA tests, it would be a simple matter to determine if the penis in the royal coffin belongs to Tutankhamun or not.

    Lastly, since Tutankhamun was the product of the sexual union of a brother and sister, as the aforementioned DNA tests concluded, he certainly may have suffered from some physical defects. Children of such close familial pairings often presented with genetic deficiencies. However, a small penis may not be one of the defects. And, who is to say what was normal for Egyptian males of that period? Remember, normal only means "average". The average modern man's penis is only 6 inches. As we all know from our considerable porn collections, a 6-inch penis is NOT normal in porn films! It's all relative!

    Such silly news items these days!

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