ANSWER: Goose egg! Nada! Zilch! Zero! Zippo! Not a single zot!
I made it to the Philly porn-star auction successfully this past weekend. I'm proud to admit that I overcame a lot of entrenched fears. . . I even danced the robot (IN PUBLIC!) to bad house music wearing red see-thru panties! Unfortunately I was the only man impressed. I didn't get a single bid. :-(((
Actually the club closed down before I had a chance to step on stage. No more auction block for me. . . .
Truth be told, I'm was a little nervous about selling myself into chattel slavery, if just for a fancy dinner and a good cause. You know how nervous us pale faces get about the bad ole antebellum days. That said, we sure do love to sing about it. . .
True, slavery has plagued human cultures the world over. Isn't it funny though when white people perform "negro spirituals"? . . . especially when those singing hail from Scandinavian socialist utopias? Like Jenny Wilson and Robyn belting out Saul William's reparations classic "List of Demands". Wilson and Robyn couldn't be more earnest. Not a single shred of irony! So cute!!!
Naturally enough, "No More Auction Block" is one of my all time favorite spirituals. Paul Robeson provides the classic rendition of course, with Sweet Honey in the Rock offering the perfect choral contrast to the lone moanful soloist:
Oddly enough, I found more examples of white singers belting out "No More Auction Block" than black. I even discovered one rendition in Czech. I guess capitalism makes us all slaves somehow or another. For one chilly night in the City of Brotherly Love I was slave to a pair of sheer red Santa briefs.
If you still haven't had enough blocks check out the cool photos above and below. Philly claims to have the last remaining wooden street in America, Camac Alley (coincidentally adjacent to my own auction block, Club Voyeur). Apparently America's founding fathers used wood to pave their streets (insert infrastructure boner joke here). Who knew?