Saturday, February 5, 2011


Don't be jealous bitches but I'm in the Bible.  Yeah, that's right.  The Bible.  Well, actually, the Torah, but same dif.

I am actually a "yod" in Genesis 13:10: "And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of the Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou goest unto Zoar."

If only I could have held out for 13:16: "And I will make thy seed as the dust of the earth; so that if a man can number the dust of the earth, then shall thy seed also be numbered."  I think somebody up in heaven has seen a few of my videos. 

It is kinda funny that I should find myself "inserted" at the beginning of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah.  I came across the project in San Francisco at the Contemporary Jewish Museum, in an exhibition called "As it is Written: Project 304,805".  One project, called "The People's Torah" asks you to submit an image of your hand (at the museum, there is a box on the wall that accomplishes this for you).  A large screen then digitizes your hand into a Hebrew letter, one of 304,805 that make up the Torah.  If you'd like to get your hands on a Bible, literally IN the Bible, check out  I'd like to see a Torah written with 304,805 hands that masturbate!

1 comment:

  1. "Don't be jealous bitches but I'm in the Bible." is perhaps the funniest thing I've ever read.