Saturday, March 12, 2011


If you haven't been keeping up with your sex toy news, you may have missed the recent headlines: a professor at Northwestern hit the front pages after arranging an after-school live fucksaw demonstration. A fucksaw is just that, a dildo attached to a saw, built for your pleasure.  Fearless in the face of media scrutiny, Professor Bailey has a penchant for stirring controversy, arguing in his book "The Man Who Would be Queen", that some transgendered men who wish to become women do so out of erotic fascination and not biological desire.  Tame by Black Party standards, the live demonstration involved a biological woman and her boyfriend. 

. . . And now it can involve you! 

Any poets out there willing to write Colby an "Ode to a Fucksaw"?  Something kinky to send grandma for Easter?  Seriously. 


  1. This is not technically an ode (it's a sonnet. Fuck the haters).

    "Ode to a Fucksaw"

    I felt my face flush red as I knelt down,
    Anticipation led to nervous giggles.
    Now on all fours, I listened for the sound
    Of a fucksaw's rough electric wiggles.

    He kissed me on the lips to ease my mind,
    And whispered in my ear "I will be gentle."
    I felt the dildo enter from behind;
    All discomfort at this point was mental.

    He started the machine and it felt strange;
    The thrusts were cold, quick, regular, and measured.
    But as the act progressed I felt a range
    Of feelings both intense and full of pleasure.

    Already I was begging him for more
    As my ejaculation sprayed the floor.

  2. I am not even going to ask - WTF?

  3. DOUG! You are genius! Can I make a video reading your poem???