Wednesday, May 11, 2011
COLBY CRUSH: ALEXANDER VALERIEVICH SEMIN
Who wouldn't love a man with a name like Semin? Especially when you've seen him naked like I have. . . twice!
I recently went back to SpaWorld, the Korean bathhouse in Northern Virginia, where I discovered Semin with an entourage of obese Russian lackeys (one of whom wore nothing but a net of gold chains and a Viking helmet). On my first trip to SpaWorld I saw Semin with fellow DC Capital's star hockey player and Colby Crush Alexander Ovechkin. Semin's giant thighs and incredible ass rival Ovechkin's, though the two could be body doubles in every other respect. I assumed they were teammates but didn't know Semin's name until another guest at the spa informed me who he was.
If you like big beefy boys like Colby, you'd love Semin. He's around my size: 6'2" and 205 lbs of lean muscle. Where Ovechkin sports a broken nose and missing teeth, Semin is a hairless pretty boy. From what I've seen of Ovechkin and Semin, Russia might need to update its dick-size statistics. Semin is not only the proud owner of one of the biggest uncut flaccid cocks I've seen but he can also claim a pair of perfect bull testicles that have earned a permanent place in this porn star's prodigious memory. And by proud I mean proud. Semin picked out the center-most pool chair in the spa and claimed it as his thrown. Surrounded by his minions, he spread his legs like he was seeing the gynecologist.
Seriously. . . It was a sight to see.
What would you do with your friends after a long soak in the sauna? Hit the showers of course. Before he left the spa, Semin and his buddies had one more group activity left to accomplish: huddled under a group of Asian style seated shower stalls, they lathered-up and shaved their pubes together. No shit. Who needs porn when you can watch an Olympic athlete shave his junk in public.