Thursday, March 31, 2011

HISTORY OF PORN: THE CRITICAL CONSIDERATION OF PORN CRITICISM

END OF DAY #2 - COLBY'S STILL TAKING A BREAK AND KARL MARXXX KEEPS BORING YOU WITH HISTORY LESSONS. Deep in the heart of Chelsea, lies a dream project for a History of Sexual Studies researcher or archivist. It's a fully maintained database of porn reviews dating back to 1993. Each year, the paper bound catalogs are attached the previous year's creating a historical homage to porn and a circuitous guide to details of all the porn shoots one could care to read about.
And yes, flipping through it was a little sticky, in more ways than one. I wonder what an academic paper on this might look like-the critical consideration of the history of pro-market criticism of dudes fucking on camera for cash.





ARTISTS I LIKE AND HISTORY OF HOMOS: GRANT WOOD


I was at the Boston MFA the other day in the fancy-schmancy new Art of the Americas wing when I was again drawn to another one of Grant Wood's paintings, this time Arbor Day from 1932. Most commonly remembered for the famously re-rendered and parodied, American Gothic, I only learned of Wood's 'closeted' homosexuality after I asked Big Shoe Man himself, Colby Keller as to why he thought I might be so drawn to Wood's vibrant and colorful bucolics. "He's a big 'mo," Colby said. And then I thought to myself, did Grant Wood ever do drag?


'Cause if he did, "Arbor Day Celebration" would have been an awesome drag name and he could have sort of looked like the infamous Hedda Lettuce. Maybe Hedda should change her named to Arbor Day.



I SEE PENIS: IRON ORE


DAY 2: COLBY'S OUT SO YOU GET A BIG OLD BORING HISTORY LESSON FROM PROFESSOR MARXXX.

One of the fascinating things that people from Baltimore (aka Baltimoreans/Baltimorons) will claim if you have the chance to visit John Water's homeland is that all of the cast iron balconies in the city of New Orleans, and in particular the French Quarter, were made in and shipped from Baltimore. While this urban legend is only partially true, you can't help but notice iron art while out and about if you've ever spent significant time in the city best known by Europeans for the hit TV-series, The Wire. This specimen from the West Village of NYC makes me wonder if it wasn't constructed during NYC's brief infatuation with another city--Santa Fe (thanks Bob Smith for helping me to remember and of course RENT) back in the 1990s. Doesn't it look like a maize sheath (hallelu!)?

Nevertheless, I SEE PENIS!!!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

SNIFFING THE DAISIES (JONQUILS): COLBY TAKES SOME TIME OFF (BY KARL MARXXX)

It's hard out here for a porn star. Not only do they have to deal with the general hazzards of the adult sex industry, there's societal ostracization and surprisingly, varying degrees of disapproval from the gay community. And then, in trying to help people out with publicizing lesser-known art projects, one gets attacked by "creative commons nazis" who prefer sending vitriolic anonymous emails in between jerk off sessions with their illegally downloaded porn (oh wait, did I forget to mention plummeting salaries due to free illegal porn downloading as another hazzard of the porn industry? Sucks I know, but something all content developers will have to deal with eventually). Where are the manners? Where's the humanity? Can't we all take some time to smell the flowers? Well thank goddess it's spring and that's exactly what Colby will be doing for the next couple of days while he reconsiders whether or not he wants to be running a blog if people are going to be hating on him for trying to help out. In the meantime I, Karl Marxxx, will be posting on Big Shoe Diaries to make sure you have something to read. I can't promise it will be as good though, so send your love and support messages to Colby at bigshoediaries@gmail.com so he's reminded of how much he means to you while he takes a much deserved break from the blogosphere.

WUT WOH


Its difficult when you run a blog to keep track of issuing credit where credit is due, especially when you do it for fun and don't have a research assistant to write a daily citation page.  That said, I'd like to issue a sincere apology to the photographers and publisher of a new lit mag who didn't like me posting pictures from their recent issue.  Honestly, I was just trying to help promote the project, not undermine it.  I asked the person who mailed me a copy, but forgot to scroll down the list of contributors.  That's no excuse, just a confession of a lack of foresight.  I was out of town this weekend and didn't catch their comments til today.  If its any consolation, my butt is sore from all of the spankings I've had to give myself.  I think I may just take a few days off, sit in a dark corner, down a bottle of scotch or two and think about what I've done. . . and what I'm doing with this blog.

I AM the self-appointed President of the SocialJism Party after-all.  Private property and self-promotion are two things that make Colby sad.  Obviously apologies are also something that make me sad, 'cause I'm just so damn bad at 'em.  Me sawee mad gay dudes.  :-((

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

MILLINERY MADNESS


A warning we should all take to heart: little hats only lead to pain and suffering.

Monday, March 28, 2011

I SEE PENIS: SILLY BANDS



Wrist thick and ready for the chopping block.  

Thanks to blogreader Dan for sending these along.  Is that cum on the concrete in the second pic?  You can't convince me otherwise.  You're such a dirty boy Dan!  I can see you now: Casually ripping off your silly band, rolling it between your thumb and forefinger.  Suddenly something about it seems familiar in a new, unexpected way.  A phallic epiphany?  An erotic doppelgänger?  A visual double entendre?  You begin to feel your pants tighten.  Gently, you place the silly band on the curb, unzip and pull out your enormous erect cock.  Chop!  Chop!  Chop!  So turned on by your discovery you cum in seconds!  

Then you snap a pic for Colby.  

:-))  I know your secrets.   

Sunday, March 27, 2011

TIP TOE. . .


. . . Through the two-lips.


HURRAY!  SPRING IS HERE!!!!!!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

BOYS WITH BEARDS: RANDY




Randy makes me randy.  I can almost feel him fuck me with his eyes.  Can't you?

In addition his four primary interests: hiking, biking, boning and eating, he also used to sing and write for his own Soul/Funk band in Toronto, the "James King Original".  Unfortunately, I couldn't find any samples of his music on his old myspace page.  Maybe Randy could send me an mp3 or two?  (batting eye lashes)  Purty pleeeease.  A video of you singing, bare-ass with a boner would also work nicely.  :-)



Friday, March 25, 2011

COCKSUCKER CHORUS


From a March 5th performance in San Francisco to raise funds for "Big Joy", a documentary about Radical Faerie bard James Broughton.  I recommend skipping the intro and starting at about the 2 minute mark.  Thanks to crochet foreskin connoisseur Jack Davis.    

I SEE PENIS: PEPPER


Petra Piper picked a pecker pepper to pickle but which pickled pecker pepper did Petra Piper pick?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

WORLD PIECE


Sometimes a simple image has the power to provoke laughter and arouse a boner at the same time: two complementary bodies, one white, one brown, reflected oddly enough in a perfectly placed tattoo.   :-)

I gotta get a piece. . .

OUTER SPACE SPERM RACE


According to the journal Nature, researchers in Japan have successfully created sperm outside of the body. Eggs injected with artificially grown sperm even bore live mice.  Scientists were also able to use frozen tissue to create living sperm.  A potential cure for male infertility, it appears we are still a long way off from curing gay infertility: no man-on-man babies as yet on the horizon.  Fear not!  The research team here at BSD won't stop trying til we get it right!  

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

IN BED...OOPS, I MEANT EMBED!!!

For those of you with some variation of i-whatever-touch screen pads, you've likely already had many conversations both digitally and socially about the mistakes in communication that arise when the autocorrect software on your device changes words and thus the meaning of your intended message. Pophangover founder Jillian Madison posted a great collection sexy mistypes today at the Huffingtonpost that got me thinking: Why does autocorrect tend towards words that are randier than others?
I did some minor snooping online and couldn't find much about the technology behind Apple's touch screen autocorrect software, but my guess is that it pushes users towards more commonly used words and phrases, which would explain the dirty defer-ings. Gays, teens and slutty urban heteros have been banging out s-ext messages to each other for years now, likely embedding a hefty amount of sexy "lean to" into the predictive software.

I remember encountering similar problems (or opportunities) with T9 text prediction on my very first phone with predictive texting. I spent a lot of unexpected dead time toggling between "cycle" and "awake" and on the dirty side between "cock" and "anal" (this was before I had a phone with sudoku).

But I digress, we're in a new era and touchpads with autocorrect software are leading us pervertedly forward, tapping into the collective subconsciousness of Kevin Kelly's technium and reminding us that sex is digital, sex is fun, sex is best when it's 1-0-1.

1011100100010101100101001010111001110111011111010101110110110110101

Oh yeah, and feel free to share with Big Shoe Diaries any "best of" stories in which a mis-corrected text implied something you hadn't intended...and what it led to.






BOYS OF BUTT: DAN-OLA




Dan-ola is from the planet Pandora. . . After James Cameron's "Avatar" its hard to see blue skin and think anything else.  "Friend of Colby" Bobby paints another boy from the Butt Magazine calendar.  

I SEE UTERUS: FLOWER VASE


Believe it or not we all used to fit into one of these.  From design-milk.com.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

GUYS WITH GLASSES: TYLER



Tyler describes himself as masculine, genuine and farm raised.  He lives in Vancouver and writes his own comic-strip, "free gay toons for gays that ain't gay".  Lets just hope he never has to add Colby's name to the thought bubbles in the cartoon below.  You can see more of his comic-strip HERE.

For all of you research fiends out there you may also know Tyler by his own brief porn moniker, "PFC Peter Rovno" from malecorp.com.




What can I say, not all porn actors are perfect:


. . . And PFC Peter Rovno:

I SEE PENIS: VINTAGE VACATION


I think I remember this photo from a past life?  . . Something about it seems VERY familiar.  ;-)

Thanks to blog reader "The Brain" Brian O'Brien for passing this along. . .

Sunday, March 20, 2011

I SEE PENIS: COST OF LIVING


Colby Confession: I was so afraid of getting caught masturbating as a kid, I mastered the art of coitus interruptus (in my case, by pressing down on the shaft of my cock as I hit orgasm, to keep the cum from leaving my testicles).  I'm lucky I don't suffer any permanent damage.  America, however, can't say the same.  The top 1% of the top 1% of the top 10% of income earners (all 400 of them) and their protected interests have been fuckin' with my earning potential for too damn long now.  Destroying collective bargaining and the power of unions, a force of historic proportion that functions as one of the only effective pressure points to help shape middle class income (unionized and otherwise), is only one of the more recent re-incarnations of failed economic strategy meant to strip the majority of their wealth and hand it, reverse Robin Hood style, to the super-rich.  "Puck" got the shit straight in 1909!  There is no reason we all can't bust a nut.  A billion brilliant orgasms or one GIGANTIC platinum wad for a handful of billionaires?  I, for one, am not about to return to my childhood.  Ain't no yachtfucker or Koch brother gunna keep my orgasm down! 

 

Saturday, March 19, 2011

TSA T&A


Young Aaron Tobey, age 21, is a natural born stripper.  Inspired by the new souped-up TSA safety protocol, Aaron opted for an invasive pat down rather than the usual x-ray machine.  Approached by TSA agents at the Richmond, Virginia, airport, Aaron then stripped down to his boxer shorts revealing a hand scrawled message on his chest, crudely written in magic marker: the fourth amendment to the US Constitution.  "THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO BE SECURE AGAINST UNREASONABLE SEARCHES AND SEIZURES SHALL NOT BE VIOLATED". 

Aaron was handcuffed, detained for 90 minutes, and interrogated by officers who questioned his motives.  It seems pretty clear to me.  Now Aaron is suing for $250,000 dollars in damages and the violation of his 1st and 4th amendment rights.  Beats the pole I guess.   

I SEE PENIS: SOUP

Friday, March 18, 2011

STUD WITH STACHE: AWESOME MESOME


Dude!  Whats that on your lip?  . . . Awesome.  

BOYS OF BUTT: COREY




Hot damn! Thats certainly one way to keep clean.  "Friend of Colby" Bobby paints another masterpiece from the pages of the Butt Magazine calendar: Squeaky Clean Corey.  

Thursday, March 17, 2011

THRIFT FIND: MANWATCHING


How did the Thrift Gods know my favorite past-time?  

I recently came across "Manwatching: A Field Guide to Human Behavior" at the thrift store.  It was a pretty depressing trip otherwise.  Unique Thrift seems to have been running a winter-close out sale on tchotchkes to make you cry.