Tuesday, May 31, 2011

VD TLC



Who doesn't enjoy getting a little head?

Unless that head belongs to Saint Vitalis of Assisi, patron saint of genital diseases, whose noggin went on auction this past Sunday in Ireland.  Of dubious provenance, the skull sold for a final bid of €3,500 to an unnamed man in Los Angeles.  Lets hope a little head cures what ails him.  

BOYS OF BUTT: ZACHARY


Every week "Friend of Colby" Bobby paints a new stud fresh from the pages of the Butt Magazine calendar.  This weeks offering: short-shorts, modeled by Zachary.

Monday, May 30, 2011

I SEE TESTICLES: PETROGLYPH

 
"Hot as Balls" 

I tried to hit the pool in Baltimore today and lost 50 lbs, missed Sarah Palin by a hair.  She briefly stopped for a photo-op at Ft. McHenry today.  Damn it!  Just when I'm nice and ripe!  I guess she'll have to wait another day to sign my ass cheeks. 



Gigantic statue of Orpheus at Ft. McHenry.  Erected in 1914, "Orpheus" honors Francis Scott Key, who wrote the poem "The Defense of Fort McHenry"while held captive on a British ship in the Chesapeake.  Set to the tune of a British drinking song, Key's poem was later adapted into the "Star Spangled Banner", the national anthem of the United States. 

LET PEACE FLOW LIKE A RIVER


Happy Memorial Day.  

Don't forget to give your favorite service member a peck on the pecker.


Sunday, May 29, 2011

I SEE PENIS: SUNLIGHT


The light of Christ directs the faithful in Rome to St. Peter's Basilica.  I guess he wasn't called son for nothing.  It may be a holiday weekend boys, but it's still Sunday.  Rise and shine and give God your glory glory! 

Full credit to BSD reader Frank for reminding us all where our thoughts should be on this solemn day of rest.

HORSE HERPIES - RODEO QUEENS - STICK PONIES

"The only horses in the arena were in this bucket"


There is nothing I could say to make this story any funnier, other than tell you its absolutely true. 

An outbreak of life-threatening equine herpes in Utah has caused promoters of an all-girl rodeo pageant to resort to extreme measures.  The show must go on, even if that requires replacing actual horses with stick ponies.  The original story aired on Salt Lake City's KSL news.  Watch the surreal video below, along with pictures from the event.  I see penis anyone?



Saturday, May 28, 2011

I SEE PENIS? & VAGINA?: PINK'S

There is just something about the word "pink".  A chromatic cousin to the metaphorically front-loaded "red", pink was originally considered a masculine color.  Centuries of shed blood from demographically superfluous males should count for something right?  Male babies born at the turn of the century were often placed in pink blankets.  Watery and indecisive, girls got blue.  Genitals often have a way of changing things, however.  Over time, pink found itself taking on another, more explicit metaphor: the clitoral glans (or the vaginal opening itself).      

How doubly ironic then that a restaurant called "Pink's" should specialize in hotdogs and suggestive balloon sculptures.

Thanks to Nevada native Tyler for snapping the pic above and sending it in to BSD HQ.



The "Shocker": two in the pink, one in the stink.

IN REAL LIFE. . .



If only I could grow my own fur coat and spend half the year hibernating, than I might just consider moving to Chicago.  I haven't been to a city in the United States with better food or more awe inspiring architecture.  New York's skyline is just too crowded; San Francisco spends half the day shrouded in fog.  LA is well, LA.  If only it weren't so damn cold, Chicky-dicky-go would be perfect.  Thankfully, there is a new queer magazine to warm my loins.  Starting this June, grab a copy of Chicago IRL.  IRL stands for "In Real Life".  Don't be embarrased, I had to ask too.  Just in case your loins get a little too warm (Chicago can also get pretty damn sticky in the Summertime), you can purchase your own handmade lace jockstrap for only 40 Shytown Simoleons.  Cool your culo (and cock) Chicago style: 




Photographer and masturbator Brandon C. Tobin

 
Joseph Varisco, creative editor (obviously!)

A drawing of recent Florida transplant Dane Hallmark


Andy Siharath (maker of said lace jockstraps)





Friday, May 27, 2011

DISCO DICK



Who doesn't like a party in their pants?

The makers of "Vajazzle"(va-jay-jay Swarovski crystal adornment), have now introduced a special line of self-adhesive genital gems for men.  Pejazzle designs include "iron crosses", "barbed wire" and "red lips".  Who says grandma (and Ed Hardy) should have all the fun!






CRUCIFUX



When will the World stop persecuting the World's largest religion!  

A British cabbie was recently forced to remove a CROSS from his windshield.  Can you believe that!?!?All because it looked like a penis.  Next thing you know they'll ban the one with Jesus spread eagle in his underwear.  

Thursday, May 26, 2011

THIGH MASTER



Wet dreams DO come true!

Only one man could realize my half-moon cookie/thighmaster fantasies: the maker of "O mio babbino caro" Victor Jeffreys II.

I SEE PENIS: MOUNTAIN MEADOW



In the valley of the shadow of dick I shall fear no orgasm, for thou art with me.  

Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.  (CK 4:27)


Photograph, courtesy of artist Laurent Champoussin.  (He swears he didn't use Photoshop)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

BALALAIKA BALLIN'




If you've ever taken Western Civ, you know that Greeks have always had a thing for their thingies.  These contestants on a Greek talent show demonstrate that even with two hands tied behind your back and pants around your ankles you can still learn to play the piano and impress your date at the same time.  







MORE SWORD DROWS EROM


"Friend of Colby" and frequent BSD guest of honor Kenny couldn't let my recent "7 Feet of Steel" post go unchallenged.   He's seen bigger.  A simple search on his special anime hard-drive pulled up two well-endowed dragayon slayers above and a few additional yaoi masterpieces worth your elfin adulation.  

Cum squire!  Fill your fantasies (sexual) with fantasy (genre). 








Tuesday, May 24, 2011

KOKI-"COLBY"-GAMI: ADVENTURES IN UNDERWEAR



Nothing satisfies my speleological curiosity like spelunking.   I took these snapshots on a recent vacation to BSD reader Royal Flush.  After braving an unexplored solutional sinkhole in his skivvies, I apparently fell asleep on Royal's pubic meadow, which I don't recall at all.  Thank God I have this handy vacation slide-show to help jog my memory.  Must have been all that warm milk I drank.  :-)

Remember spelunkers, you can never pack enough fluids!

 








YOU SAY FORECET, I SAY FAUSKIN


 More phallic faucet fun (now with foreskin!).  Compliments of "Friend of Colby" Bobby's tub. 

Monday, May 23, 2011

COLBY AS PRO-LIFE TOURIST


Colby on the top of IM Pei's Monument to the Unborn in Providence, RI.  Yeah, you heard me right.
CRAY-ZAY.  Don't get too excited, I promote a woman's right to choose what goes in her body and what comes out.


Sunday, May 22, 2011

COME AGAIN?


It looks like I may have more in common with great aunt Helen than I'd like to imagine.  A recent study published in the medical journal "Laryngoscope" has shown that Viagra can lead to permanent hearing loss.  Wut Woh.  At least I'll have my vision (which still doesn't help me solve the perplexing cartoon above). . . These, however, I do get:






Sigmund Freud à la Viagra