Wednesday, November 30, 2011

COLBY KELLER WEEK AT FLESHBOT!



The folks at Fleshbot are always up to something new and fun when it comes to sex and technology. They recently hosted some folks from Big Shoe Diaries at their annual Flesbhot Awards at the Highline Ballroom in NYC. In attendance were sex (and sexy) luminaries like Alan Cumming, Murray Hill, Go-Go Harder, Mr. Pam, Rafael Alancar, Patricia Field, Matthew Lawrence (of Headmaster fame), Dan Savage (via video) and lots of beautiful women I'd never heard of before but were no doubt the top of the top in porn/burlesque talent for the straight industry. What a party!



Murray Hill and lady friends...


Fleshbot's love of all things Colby is quite apparent as they've asked him to guest blog on Gay Flesbhot all week and dubbed the event "Colby Keller Week." So if you can't get enough Colby here at Big Shoe Diaries, go check out his posts (one per day posting at 2:30 pm) this week on Fleshbot.com....mmmmm fleshy robots!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

LIVE NUDE COLBY!


Have you ever wanted one-on-one time with yours truly?  A chance to talk cock non-stop with a seasoned porn veteran?  Wait no further!  Cancel your flight to Baltimore. . . Your opportunity has arrived!

Observe me read poetry. . . or command me to do naughty things with my butthole.

You choose.  I produce (provided I have the tools).  Get Creative.  Get Kinky.  Get Colby.

Watch me LIVE, tonight at 10PM Eastern Standard Time (I'll likely be available til 2 or 3 EST) at Randyblue.com/live.  And if thats not enough to entice you, maybe my clever new jingle will inspire you:

STUD WITH STACHE: DAIRY QUEEN MAN






He hikes.  He bikes.  He gardens.  He plays guitar.  He blows bubbles filled with kittens.  And in an odd aristocratic twist, he's also an avid falconer and expert fencer.  Oh yeah, he's fit as a fiddle, looks good in a mustache and eats ice cream every day.  He's the Dairy Queen mustache man.  Thank god for trips home for the holidays with nothing to do but jack-off and watch TV.  Swoon.



Monday, November 28, 2011

THE MUPPETS TAKE MY HARDON


As we all gleefully gear up for the new Muppet movie this Christmas (The last since 2005's "The Muppet's Wizard of Oz"), many may not know the seedy origins of the Muppet's most enduring theme song, "Mahna Mahna".  As Slate's Sam Adam's revealed in an article last Wednesday, the song first appeared in the 1968 Italian soft-core docu-porn "Sweden: Heaven and Hell", a film ostensibly exploring the permissive sexual culture of Scandinavia.  Composer Piero Umiliani's original title for the song, which coincides with a scene of buxom Swedish blondes entering a sauna, was “Viva la Sauna Svedese”.  During the premier season of Sesame Street only a year later, Jim Henson re-appropriated the catchy tune, forever transforming “Viva la Sauna Svedese” to the indelible "Mahna Mahna":



 

I SEE PENIS: BAKER IN THE MINESHAFT



Toasting leftover pumpkin seeds this evening, a bowl of melted butter serendipitously spilled to reveal this indelibly phallic omen on the countertop.  Despite my recent case of Cassandra Complex (I've had an annoying knack for predicting tragic happenings all week), be not weary. . .  No cock is a bad cock.  Good things to cum!

In case you're not familiar with the game 'Baker in the Mineshaft' (any gay man-- sans dairy fat-- likely will without knowing it), please consult the "engagement episode" of Everybody Loves Raymond.  Gotta love definition by consensus.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

BOYS OF BUTT: DEMETRE



"Friend of Colby" Bobby is back with a brand new boy from the Butt Magazine calendar: Behold Demetre.

According to Urban Dictionary, Demetre is

"a bad ass Mother Fucker! Any one named Demetre is probably going to be a extremly hot Greek or Italian guy.  His dark brown hair flows as free as the booze in his cup as people of this name often are the life of the party!  Demetre's also have mad fuckin game!  This guy is always pulling hot, random ass, but when he does decide to settle down, he only dates the creme of the crop!"

Spelling and grammar idiosyncrasies not my own (for once!).






ADIEU MON AMOUR


One last farewell to the Thanksgiving leftovers in my fridge.  

Photo courtesy of Free Press Houston and Mark C. Austin

Saturday, November 26, 2011

I SEE PENIS: STIR CRAZY


You know you are going stir crazy when you are stuck at home with the fam and start seeing cock on the Thanksgiving Day table.  BSD reader Kyle happened on this lovely lil fucker while unwrapping his silverware.  Gobble Gobble.

Friday, November 25, 2011

SUCK ME!



You've all seen how well I can suck.  Imagine how much better I would suck if I had the Dyson DC35 multi-floor cordless digital vacuum cleaner!

Even a small donation you can help poor ole' Colby purchase this handy utilitarian device for XXXmas.  Shameless I know, but you haven't seen how dirty original wooden floors in a turn of the century carriage house can get.  I have gaps an inch wide and enough lead paint on the walls to keep my mop (and physician) busy year round.  Turn my Black Friday white (or at least brown-- the color of my wooden floors).



Thursday, November 24, 2011

HEY THERE PILGRIM


I'm not covered in silver belt buckles (not even one!) or strictly wearing black.  I can't even claim a giant felt hat, 10 gallons or otherwise.  That said, I often conflate "cowboy" with pilgrim.  The ultimate American masculine signifier must have a legacy in our national founding myth too right?  Maybe I should just blame John Wayne.  Or Indians.  They pop up in both myths, the perfect "communal" foil to match the rugged individual Calvinist narrative our Nation loves so much.  

Either way, here is a Thanksgiving treat just for you: Colby as Cowboy, courtesy of Raging Stallion's latest release.  There were a lot of cowpokes in this one.  I didn't make first cut-- maybe I should have been an Indian?  Don't despair, scroll over to find me in Disc 2: COWBOYS.  Or just admire my big cowpoke here.

GOBBLE GOBBLE!!! A BIG SHOE FEAST!

Colby Dong Il photo courtesy of Twitter Feed: @cleverprime

Hey Big Shoe Fans and "friends of Colby"-

Colby Keller and Dale Cooper get pumped up for food prep!

I don't get to say this enough.  I am so thankful for YOU.  I've had such a great experience with the blog the past two years and the greatest part of it is the interaction I've had with all of you.  From the I SEE PENIS posts, individually created Colby Art, blog/video ideas, insightful/helpful (and even corrective) comments, to the graciously written notes of love and appreciation, not to mention the many generous donations you have made the past two years an amazing experience for me.  And I am so thankful to get to share it with you.  If I were a better planner (maybe next year), I'd have hosted a HUGE THANKSGIVING MEAL for all of us to share and sit down together at...but since I'm just now getting around to cooking up a storm, I thought I'd share some pics.

Karl Marxxx, Dale Cooper & Colby Keller get to work!!!

Lots of love to you all!  Hope everyone gets to spend time with friends, family and chosen family...and if you're somewhere by yourself, know that Colby loves you and virtually invites you to dine with me...and cum with me after the meal (you know, there's like videos and stuff to help with that).

Big Shoe Colby Hugs.

Thanksgiving Dishes being Prepared and Shared at the Baltimore Collective today:

Savory
Curacao Goat Stew
Filet of Trout
Homemade Tamales
Brioche
Cranberry Apple Relish
Cauliflower Casserole
Kaddo Bourani (aka Afghani Pumpkin Yogurt Compote)
Roasted Fennel with Walnuts and Currants
Brussels Sprouts, Toasted Pecans and Kale Chips
Kohlrabi Greens with Toasted Garlic and Soy Sauce
Mofongo

Sweet

Dark Chocolate Pecan Pie
Lattice-Top Apple 
Banoffee Pie

Drinks
Dandelion Wine
Humboldt Brown (Hemp Brewed Beer)
Local Baltimore Brewer's Art Resurrection Ale


Karl Marxxx likes beer so much that he becomes one.

PASS THE GRAVY!!!


Gobble Gobble.  Happy Turkey Day.  

Pic courtesy of Dicks with Things.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I SEE BOOBIES: EIFFEL TOWER



Attention phallanx of man-husbands!  Better start rolling out the rubber now boys.  Break out the Trajan-size Trojans cause I have my eye on Hadrian's column.   

Michele Bachmann's Iowa campaign chair explains why ployamorous gay couples (and something esoterically referred to as "the red herring") will inexorably lead to man-on-monument marriage.  Two boobs have never looked bigger.  

The Grand Old Party knows me all too well.  If only I could find a man with an Eiffel tower in his trousers!    



Tuesday, November 22, 2011

BOYS WITH BEARDS & STUDS WITH STACHE: BRIAN O'BRIEN & JUSTIN RUSSO



If you live in New York City or are a regular reader of NEXT magazine, you may have already had the opportunity to read Brian O'Brien's great article from last week, Between Bare and Bear: The Long and Complicated History of Gay Men and Their Facial Hair.  Brian interviewed me for article.  And everyone who has an opinion on gays and facial hair should read it.  The Colby quote is toward the end, essentially giving me the final word on the matter.  Additionally, the beautiful illustrations that accompany the article are from Justin Russo, who has an upcoming show called "The Beard Project" everyone should look out for...(can anyone recognize a well-known Colby photographer in this set of four studly bearded men???).

COLBY DOPPELGÄNGER: PELE'S FASHION FORWARD FAN


"Friend of Colby" Steffen passed along a photo of the above Colby doppelgänger wearing a newly fashioned Adidas "soccer" jersey, emblazoned with the famous #10.  The tanks suggests said doppelgänger's interest in soccer (or at least some level of physical activity...clearly!) and reminded me of a famous photo of Pele embracing English footballer (aka soccer player), Bobby Moore...hot! 


Athletes, Porn Stars and Musicians are just about the only folks allowed to wing it with one name. Why is that? 


Pele's Famous Bicycle Kick



Monday, November 21, 2011

COLBY PORTRAIT


A smirk, a smile and sexy face?  

The semiotics of sex-appeal, courtesy of Gus Brock.

COLBY'S RIDES: OK PORSCHE


It's not the size, it's what you do with it. . . That is, if you manage to fit inside.



Sunday, November 20, 2011

PLEASE CHECK YOUR CONCEALED WEAPONS AT THE FRONT DESK


Known more for its well-curated gardens thank its collection, the Philbrook Museum in Tulsa, contains some notable exceptions, including the amusing diptych of martyrs below.  Both the museum and art collection once belonged to oil magnate and founder of Phillips Oil, Waite Phillips.  Before you plan your next visit, please be advised: no handguns permitted!  Just in case you forget, a helpful reminder greets you on the front door.  


Organ in the closet? 



Medieval "Boy with Beard" 




Stoned 


I SEE PENIS: DING. . .


Need a pump?  Now your local Dongs carries Kumho tires. . . Compliments of the Sooner State and Midwesterners with a sense of humor.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

I BUY REFUSED LOADS


They'll buy anything in Oklahoma.  Though in such a conservative state, it's hard to say what they'll use it for. . .

STUD WITH STACHE: FAWCETT


Ready for Movember mustache month, model Christopher Fawcett sports a traditional Fu-manchu flavor savor and a set of abdominals to make any gym rat drool.