Tuesday, March 6, 2012

BONOBOS: PANTS FOR EVERY SOCIO-SEXUAL SITUATION


Is it just me or are the butts of American men looking a little bit tighter these days? Well, according to studies, Americans continue to become less fit so it probably isn't my perception that's changing, but it may be the newly popularized cuts coming from the "newish" clothing company, Bonobos.


"Bonobos" is an interesting name choice and I think it's quite intentional that sexual intercourse plays a major role in Bonobos society. Additionally, I'm sure the marketing team spent hours in board rooms discussing the allopatric speciation that led to the evolutionary distinction between bonobos and chimpanzees and likened that natural evolution to the ever-expanding divide between urban-sexual (ie. metrosexual/gay) men who care about they way in which their ass is presented in society to the pleated pants-wearing Neandarthals who seem to like Santorum.




I haven't tried any on myself yet, but I do have a nice fitting pair of khaki slacks that I've started telling people are Bonobos when they politely mention how fit I look in them and everyone nods encouragingly. Perhaps it's time for more of us to don ass appearance friendly pants and "penis-fence" and "rump rub" as often as the bonobos do to keep everything on the up-and-up.


"Sexual intercourse plays a major role in bonobo society observed in captivity, being used as what some scientists perceive as a greeting, a means of forming social bonds, a means of conflict resolutions, and post-conflict reconciliation. Bonobos are the only non-human animal to have been observed engaging in all of the following sexual activities: face-to-face genital sex(although a pair of Western Gorillas has been photographed performing face-to-face genital sex), tonge kissing, and oral sex. In scientific literature, the female-female behavior of touching genitals together is often referred to as GG rubbing or genital-genital rubbing."


"Bonobo males occasionally engage in various forms of male-male genital behavior. In one form, two males hang from a tree limb face-to-face while "penis fencing". This also may occur when two males rub their penises together while in face-to-face position. Another form of genital interaction ("rump rubbing") occurs to express reconciliation between two males after a conflict, when they stand back-to-back and rub their scrotal sacs together."


* The final two quotes were lifted from the Social Sexual section of the Bonobo entry in Wikipedia.

6 comments:

  1. Well, that model has a real juicy rump roast, with or without the Bonoboshelper!

    I'll take a small portion to be polite.

    With cheese, please.

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  2. Love it when you go anthropologist on something :-P

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  3. I love Bonobos pants! They really do make one's ass POP!

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  4. Ugh, those are some horrid bootcut trousers. I feel gay men in the navy wouldn't even wear those.

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  5. Everything old is new again!
    I had a couple shimmery pairs of velour jeans back in the day.
    They were Levi's, and I think they were called "Movin' On" Jeans.
    Fortunately, mine were not shamrock green.
    I lived for those pants, WHEN I WAS 12!

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  6. i once dated an anthropologist and knowing him as well as i do, he would have cum in his jeans after reading "allopatric speciation" in blog written by a very hot part time porn star. sigh.

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