Friday, April 6, 2012
COLBY CRAFTS: LEARNIN' TO TIE AN EGG
How would you celebrate the death of a man?
By dying eggs of course! In Spanish "huevos", along with the more familiar "cajones", is slang for testicles. Testicles are probably not what most have in mind come Easter time but they're as good a metaphor as any. Both eggs and testicles do give us babies after all.
This Easter, BSD Minister of Propaganda Karl Marxxx and I decided to die our eggs the old fashion way, using Dad's silk ties (or in our case, an adequate thrift store substitute). If that special man in your life left you behind with nothing more than a bureau full of vintage neck-ware and a heart full of memories, this may be the perfect send off. Life, as Jesus himself will no doubt testify, is a lot like an egg. It's a very fragile thing indeed.
To start the process, I attempted to learn how to knot a tie. While most 31 year old males should know how to do this, it's not exactly a commonly prescribed skill on the porn set. This is the best I could do unassisted, on my own:
While praying for divine intervention might help some, looking in the mirror may have served me better than staring at the ceiling fan.
Next, gather a dozen fresh eggs. We attempted an experiment with two brown eggs, and the results proved disappointing. While I'm down with brown and black is most assuredly beautiful, white works best. (I swear I'm not a racist!)
Make sure the tie you decide to use is 100% silk. After you're 100% certain, cut it into strips. Place the front, died surface of the fabric onto the egg. Wrap it with string until you're satisfied it's secure. Dental floss works fine. The more you wrap the better. The string helps adhere the surface of the tie to the egg.
Then wrap the eggs in white cotton fabric. We used the lining of the tie and an old t-shirt. Securely wrap them again with string.
Place the eggs into a large pot. Cover with water.
Add three table spoons of vinegar.
While we waited, we died a few eggs the traditional way. . .
Boil the eggs for 20 minutes, remove from the heat, let cool, then unwrap.
Surprise! Even the label took.
The end results. . .