Tuesday, April 3, 2012

I SMELL SEMEN: APRIL SHOWER


It's that time of year again. . .   It's getting warmer; flowers are blooming and the smell of semen lingers in the air.  No, its not the semi-annual Keller family picnic/orgy (that's in August).  It's Spring!  If you live on the East Coast, you know what I mean.  The Bradford pear or Pyrus calleryana 'Chanticleer' smells like vomit to some and spunk to others.  I personally prefer the latter.

Spring IS all about sex after all.  There may be no more adamant a reminder than the dense odor of a fecund evening.  While its no surprise I'm a fan, I'm not the only one.  In 2005, the Bradford pear won best urban tree in an annual survey of City Trees magazine readers (and no, I'm not making that magazine up either.  It exists).  The Bradford pear brings fresh new resounance to April's unofficial anthem: "Rain, rain, go away. CUM again, another day."  Indeed.

5 comments:

  1. Wow Colby, you just brought back some scent memories. Those blooming Bradford Pears along Charles Street! I always did think Mount Vernon had a Cum scent in the Spring!

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  2. I'd take it one step further and say, they don't necessarily smell like semen as much as they smell like a long forgotten, hardened & stained, cumrag. I love when I find one of those lingering under the bed. Opens my nostrils right up!
    Now, if only Orbit would put that flavor in a gum...

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  3. LMFAO!!! A couple of days I twitted to Mike Bloomberg what he was trying to tell us planting all these trees that smell like CUM!!! Of course he never twitted back.... He probably doesn't know how does it smell since all the models he stores on his Bahamas Mansion swallow it clean....

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  4. OMG Now I gotta find that Bradford pear!

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  5. Just wait until the ailanthus altissima trees (otherwise known as ghetto palm) bloom in June. They make a street smell like a cum bucket.

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