Friday, August 10, 2012

MY ONLY GAY PORN THEATER EXPERIENCE WAS A LET DOWN (BY BRIAN O'BRIEN)



As part of our "Boys in the Sand" Week, one of my favorite writers, Brian O'Brien from Fleshbot submits his piece about seeing Boys in the Sand for the first time on Fire Island. Gosh, he's funny!
 
My Only Gay Porn Theater Experience Was a Let Down

By Brian O'Brien

Two years ago I had the pleasure of attending a party for a screening of "Boys in the Sand," the legendary porn movie that I had never seen. It was held in one of the large houses in the Fire Island Pines that I could never afford, not even to rent. On the roof deck of the house, director Wakefield Poole talked to me and my friend Nick since we were perhaps two of the youngest people at the party and both peripherally involved in the porn industry. He told us that we had to come to the screening of the film, the first time it was to show in the Pines in decades, after the party.

Of course we did, and on our way, I started to get a little bit excited. Being of the Internet generation, I'm much more likely to watch my adult video through the dim glow of my laptop rather than on the big screen. I would say the days of the porn theater are long gone, except Fred Willard just got busted in one, but the raciest thing most homosexuals have seen in a movie theater lately is "Magic Mike."

I always hoped that someday I would get that communal experience, pulling my dick out in front of a handful of other horny guys with their feet making strange noises on the sticky floor. Or, even better, arriving at a blue movie house for a wank and finding another hard up bloke who wanted to take things to the next level like it's a lyric from an Alanis Morissette song.  Now was my chance!

But, sadly, when the movie started the crowded watched it more as a documentary. Look at Casey Donovan, and his retro '70s hair and tan lines that were made from a lack of sunblock and no ennui about skin cancer. Look at the old architecture of the Pines, so many of it lost for good through multiple renovations. Look at what life was like when this summer paradise was also a condom-free orgy. It wasn't about porn as beat-off material, but porn as document, one of the few movies that survived to show us modern gays how gay men lived then, both in and out of the bedroom.

There were no boners to be had, no dicks pulled out of jeans, no spontaneous orgies erupting so that we could forget about the sex on celluloid and focus on the fucking in front of us. It was just like watching any other old movie. That made me kind of sad. But it didn't stop me from trying to get Casey Donovan's tan lines for the rest of the summer. Maybe that would actually get me laid.

5 comments:

  1. That is pretty hilarious! No point in seeing it now! Kidding.

    -Kim
    www.KimKardashnguyen.com

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  2. Hopefully, your only gay bath house experience will be better.

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  3. Not sure if they still do it, but Chicago's Reeling Festival used to have a vintage porn night each year at the glorious Music Box Theatre.

    They should do an actual premier for this new Boys in the Sand, some where like the Castro, you know, so they can qualify for Oscar consideration ;o)~

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  4. Don't despair, there's still hope! A few years back I went to a porn store outside of Gainesville, FL and in the back they had many booths set up (I think here was a theater, too but I didn't check it out) where you put in change and chose from gay or straight clips. I went into another guys booth, who was feverishly jacking it, and we took turns blowing each other and then jerked until we shot our loads on the floor and left. It was incredibly hot!

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    Replies
    1. There's a difference between an arcade and a theater, dufus.

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