HELP WANTED

One brave soul . . . just one . . . volunteered to compete in the "Hookers on the Lake" song contest.  Unfortunately, "J" in Chicago can't claim much of a singing voice.  Not that any of us will ever know for sure.  J only submitted written lyrics, not an MP3.  Given the obvious fact I can't exactly dance naked to a music video without music I still need YOUR help.  If you pride yourself on a pleasant pair of pipes (or handily own a vocoder) or even just want to throw down a beat or two purty purty please help J and I fully flesh out the next porn top 40. 

Together, we'll make music.  :-)     

Per J's instructions, the words in regular type are meant to be spoken (I'm imagining something deep and throaty like Leonard Cohen or Johnny Cash), and the ones in italics are meant to be sung to the tune of "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat (I had to look it up)."  Personally, since J didn't sing the song himself, I think anyone who contributes should be given permission to improvise as they see fit.  

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Red-hot hookers on the lake,

Ready to give all you can take –

On the dock or in your boat,

Up the ass or down the throat.

            Lake hookers like to go down,

            Go down on cock in the boat.

Boy, what are you waitin’ for?

Yeah…drop your pants and grab your oar –

On the bottom or the top.

These boys’ll do you ‘til you drop.

Lake hookers like to go down,

            Go down on cock in the boat.

Once you’ve had one of these whores.

I guarantee you’ll beg for more.

So hurry up, boy, don’t be late.

A catch like this ain’t gonna wait.

            Lake hookers like to go down,

            Go down on cock in the boat.

            Lake hookers like to go down,

            Go down on cock in the boat.

            Lake hookers like to go down.

            Go down. Go down. Go down.

Go down on cock in the boat.

            Go down on cock in the boat.