Going back home to Texas to visit the Keller crew unleashed one merciless stress wave after another. If it weren't for an INCREDIBLE group of newly found friends in Houston, I may have lost my mind entirely. I just barely made my flight home only to wake up to Hurricane Sandy pounding on my windowsill.
There may be no more soothing stress reliever than spending an afternoon on Ebay, compulsively scrolling through page after page of amazing junk of no conceivable use value. Who doesn't need a life-size pink Greek hoplite helmet in the shape of a penis! I certainly do!
Just in case you're inspired, I promise a naked photo-shoot in anything any lovely reader generously feels compelled to donate. Maybe this lovely ensemble? Or this authentic Corinthian number? . . Or this one? . . or that one!? There are just so many Greek helmets I can't choose!
Or this. . . French 1st Empire Calvary helmet of Empress Dragoons. Holy Mother Saint Ru Paul!
I have just the jock strap to match this one.
If penis-shaped headgear isn't quite your bag, simply type in "unusual" under the "Cultures and Ethnicities" search box (my all-time favorite category besides the difficult-to-locate "Adult Only": All Categories> Everything Else> Adult only) and you might just be surprised how much racist/homoerotic americana you'll discover.
I mean, is there really a better way to sell antique slave chains than having a white boy pose shirtless and manacled? I can't think of one.