COLBY DOES KAI KAI

For all you Drag Race fans out there, I couldn't resist featuring my own kai kai post in honor of season 4's final three.  A few months back I went to see Leslie and the LYs in Baltimore with fellow performer Dale Cooper.  If you're familiar with Leslie's DIY aesthetic, you'll know why Dale and I dressed to the 9s.  Leslie scouts the crowd at her concerts for the best sweater in the pack then rechristens the garment in an elaborate naming ceremony on stage.

WAAAAY back in day, before Leslie hit full-hardon hipster stardom, BSD Minister of Propaganda Karl Marxxx and I hosted Leslie for Thanksgiving Dinner.  She performed later that evening at Karl's dance party in DC.  Not only did I have the distinct honor of hoisting Leslie's elegant avoirdupois on stage in a makeshift sling consisting of a meager leather belt and a single 2X4, she blessed by yiddishe momme bling with an official honorific and a handmade certificate: "Gypsy Lizard Coin Purse".

Naturally, Dale and I also found ourselves on stage, two of only three handpicked contestants-- despite the fact my googly eye jumpsuit doesn't technically qualify as a gem sweater.  An eerie harbinger of season 4's penultimate final episode, the three of us were forced to provide backup choreography for Leslie's song "Gem Sweater".  Sadly, Dale and I lost the opportunity to have our outfits officially blessed by Leslie.  The other contestant, a bio-female in authentic LY attire, won the privilege (it helps to wear gold lamé tights and granny glasses).  Honored all the same, Dale and I had other things planned for our (now sweaty) gem encrusted ensembles.

To watch Dale and I Kai Kai for real, check out our starring roles in Jake Deckard's cum-drenched cum-back skin-flick, "Dirty Director". 

 Baring my best for Leslie's drum kit.

A very special gem for Dale, courtesy of Colby. 

KARL MARXXX KNOWS NOSE: OH ELI!!!

Guys with Glasses Club Member, Eli also has a nose to be reckoned with.  Upon hearing about my collection of big and beautiful noses, Eli submitted some amazing photos of himself to share with you at Big Shoe Diaries.  Talk about architecture!  Now there's a nose that knows...

PORN IN THE DESIGN

Who doesn't love good design?  And when it's inspired by porn, even better...now we just a gay porn version of it!


From Fastcodesign:
"Breasts. Nipples. Butts. Testicles. I’d never considered how many pairs of round things that made up the dirty human anatomy before watching this hilarious short ‘Yeah Just There’ by Grant Orchard from Studio AKA that animates graphic sex out of some very basic shapes."


Yeah Just There from Grant Orchard on Vimeo.

ARTISTS I LIKE: IAN SKLARSKY

Ian Sklarsky (stud with stache)

Karl Marxxx here again, with an introduction to a sexy and talented emerging NYC-based artist and "friend of Colby," Ian Sklarsky.  I sat down with Ian for a hot minute to talk about his work some of his upcoming projects.  If you're planning a trip to NYC in May, be sure to check out his installation at Yotel, entitled "Future Zoo" and if you run into Ian out and about, be sure to have a joke to tell!

 

KM: What compels you to make art?

IS:   I make art simply to both meet people and draw things I wouldn't necessarily think of, AND to zen out and relax. Every time I draw something I have to calm down, breathe and start. Concentrating on the object in front of me I draw - and this is what makes me make art.

KM: When did you first call yourself an artist?  How did it feel?
IS: I've always called myself an artist, a creator. It was only recently in the last 5 years that people started introducing me as an artist. I love it - I make things out of nothing, and I create things that people enjoy. I love that.

KM: What artists inspire you? Why?
IS: I love Picasso, Henry Darger, and all art really. Anything that I see and get an immediate response from I love. Picasso has his line drawings and his abstract way he looks at objects, sometimes the eyes I draw land outside peoples' heads - it's a very Picasso thing. Darger is just an incredible story about a recluse who created a world that was only shown after he died. I feel somewhat when I go - there will be quite a discovery made.

KM: What makes you laugh?
IS: Jokes. People. Life. These things make me laugh all the time. I'm glad to say visits with my parents and family have us in stitches. The Sklarsky's laugh a lot. It makes the soul younger and livens your spirits. Life isn't so bad, and laughing can make you see things in such a lighter way. Tell me a good joke and I'll laugh. I'll probably laugh even if it isn't funny - just cause you bombed telling it. *I always ask people for jokes when it's an awkward silence. Most people have none - I find that not funny at all.

KM: What's your relationship to the erotic in your own work or in work that you like?
IS: I have drawn many nude people and erotic drawing circles. It's fun to be in that arena and draw. Then I look at my drawings and see a very fluid representation of that pose, position. I think it's the line that is truly the erotic part of my drawings - you can see where I start and trace around to the different points my eye has gazed on.

DETAILS ABOUT THE INSTALLATION AT YOTEL IN NYC - MAY 4-18, 2012

I CAN SEES PENIS???: LOL CATS NOW & THEN

This I SEE PENIS has already made its way around the internet, but I couldn't ignore it's greatness.  What a sweet little kitty...good little penis-faced-pussy-cat!!!  Cum here Penis Pussy!

Needless to say, the LOL cat, text-on-photo form has been one of the biggest internet memes so far in the brief history of the digital age.  Forged in Forchan, expanded to I Can Has Cheeseburger and rearticulated over and over again on every social media platform available, it would be impossible to argue that people don't LOVE cats and their sometimes human-like emotions.

But this concept of personifying cats is hardly new.  I just caught a great piece on NPR a couple weeks ago that reminded me of the phenomenon of Victorian LOL-cats, as envisioned by photographer Harry Pointer in the 1870s.  Pointer couple captions with photographs of cats to wild success, publishing over 200 cat photos in the Brighton Cats set by 1884.  It's no Two Terrabyte server of pet pics that zealous pet owners of today could tout, but that's quite a few photos for the late 1800s.

Sadly, I don't SEE PENIS in any of Pointer's adorable photos.  I just SEE PUSSY!!!

I SEE PENIS: B-FAST

. . . cause it does a body good. 

I SEE VENUS: HUEVOS MOTULEÑOS

"Bather" 2009 eggshell and cyanoacrylat

In keeping with today's ovoid antics, how could I pass up this I SEE BOOBIES submission AND "Venus of Willendorf" doppelgänger by artist Tim Hawkinson: "The Bather".  If the body is a landscape, The Venus of Willendorf is the Matterhorn and the Wetterhorn all wrapped up in one.  Yes, dear reader, there is a mountain named the "Wetterhorn".  In fact, my Alpine great-grandparents climbed to the top in celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary.  No shit.  That, or the story is some elaborate Swiss sexual euphemism my pre-pubescent mind couldn't fathom.  Or maybe . . . just maybe . . . it's both.  I like to climb the big boys too.    

I SEE PENIS: MONOTREMES

Mammals don't normally lay eggs, except for the lonely platypus and four species of Papua New Guinean echidna.  BSD reader Paul (aka Questar) proves an exception to every rule with the picture above, though "laying" this particular egg usually involves heavier breathing and a higher degree of nest tensile strength.  I, for one, have broken my fair share of cheap bed frames.   

I SEE PENIS: SOUFFLÉ

Home is where the heart is.  It's often where the mom is too.  BSD reader Sue's mom is more excitable than most.  She keeps her very own log of I SEE PENIS genital doppelgängers.  Sue sent a few of her mother's favorites my way.  The picture above felt particularly inspired: hot mocha cock or the makings of one hell of a chocolate soufflé?

I couldn't resist a simple Google image search.  Would I find any more egg-inspirations waiting for their 15 minutes of shellebrity?  The hung heap of cracked shells at the bottom (wet with albumen) wins hands down.  Let just say my own egg whites stiffened at the sight.   

HATER-BLOCKERS

Great aunt Helen has never looked better in a pair of shades. . .

No T.  No shade.  No read.  Unless you got braille:

Majesty's "No Shade No Read"

GET INTO BED WITH COLONEL KELLER

   Fort Cocksucker

Get into bed with Colonel Keller as I answer the pressing sexual concerns of Manhunt Daily readers.  So many of you want jump into my bed I had to install fortifications. 

Just kidding!  All are welcome in my armed forces.  Fort Cocksucker likes to maintain a strong standing army.  My artillery squad always has at least one soldier standing at attention.  As most of you know, Colonel Keller demands satisfaction.  It takes two to duel.  Uncle Colby wants you!  Just be prepared to drop your drawers and cum, errrr cough . . .

Watch my latest video HERE. 

 Ready, Aim, Shoot!

 Colonel Keller's weapon of choice: good lighting and a prostate gun. 

COLBY DOPPELGÄNGER: TRIPLETS

BSD reader Steve M. sent in this doppelgänger of Buffalo Bills quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick, not a doppelgänger of me but a doppelgänger of a doppelgänger of me: "Keith Mitchell" (No! Not the former Prime Minister of Grenada, or the New Orleans Saints linebacker). 

Add to that, "Keith" is actually Kenneth from the poorly rated CBS drama Jericho.  Keith-Kenneth is the guy above on the left, who, strangely enough, also resembles Chandler on the NBC sitcom "Friends".

What a doppelgänger cluster fuck!  Or, more appropriately, a doppelgänger daisy chain.  I guess it all comes back to friends in the end doesn't it?

COLBY CRUSH: CARNAL CHARNEAU

Sometimes a crush turns into adDICKtion. 

Take, for example, my obsession with French model Matthieu Charneau.  Despite my frequent attempts to marry him, Charneau has steadily rebuffed every heartfelt down-on-my-knees cock-in-hand proposal.  Who ever said it was easy to work out a marriage between a man and an image of a man on a computer screen! . . . Let alone a first date.   

A very special "merci" to BSD's very own Charneau correspondent "Kalin", who scouts out pictures of Charneau on French websites and forwards them my way.  This pink set is particularly crotch pleasing.   

COLBY DOPPELGÄNGER: SIZZLING SAUZA

My kitty certainly doesn't look like that.   Skip to "1:30" for in depth break down of leg-wear semiotics.  

I SEE PENIS: PRICKLY PEAR

If you thought bottoming for a thick cock was hard, imagine trying to lower yourself down on this member.  You'd become an Xtube sensation, if you lived long enough to upload the video.  OUCH!  Thanks blog reader, Jeffrey for the submission.

KOKI-"COLBY"-GAMI: GAMETES IN HIDING

Bring us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses. 

Bring them by the dozen. 

Bring them by the zillion!!! 

Don't be shy boys.  I know where you live.  "Colby kokigami" courtesy of Kenneth.  A revelation hit me with this submission-- no one ever shows their balls!  Curious.   

Cum out of hiding with your own Colby paper-doll, cumpliments of the "Master of Man-Milk" J.Bone.  Hit print HERE. 

HARD CHOICES

Which would you choose?

Check out my return to Randy Blue.  Hairy hunk Jaxton made sure to give me a BIG welcome. . .

SOUL OR FLAIR: EYE CANDY

I like my candy warm and sticky.  Just like my menz.  The latest video release from long lost "Friend of Colby" KOORTWAH: "Candy in the Sun".