Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I SEE PENIS: IN THE SKY


It's a bird.  It's a plane. It's . . .

As we prepare for the BIG BIG SHOE DIARIES ROAD TRIP ACROSS AMERICA, I can't help but get excited about the large expanses of open road and the ability to see clouds from far, far away.  To prep me for this, Antonio Is Hairier than Kate Moss sent a great I SEE PENIS: in the sky to get me excited.  Hope you like it too!

MANHUT DAILY: GET IN BED WITH COLBY KELLER

If you haven't had a chance to watch last week's sexpert video on the Manhunt Daily blog, check it out soon.  A new video posts tonight and I thought last week's was quite fun.  You'll definitely want to be caught up as the videos will be posting weekly on Tuesday night throughout the rest of the summer.  And boy do I have some answers for you people.  As always, leave questions in the comments and I'll try to get to your pressing sexual concern!





Monday, July 30, 2012

EIGHT DAYS A WEEK: SWEET WAS THE WINE


Don't kill me yet.  I'm committed to seeing this project thru. Chapter 19 of Larry Duplechan's "Eight Days a Week".  

Sweet was the wine that we drank last night
Sweet were the words you said as you
Held me tight
But what was sweeter
Than anything I know
Was when you kissed me at the 
Door

--Jerry Butler and the Impressions


GOOD MORNING ARSCH SPÜLEN


Start your morning off right with this handy German douching tutorial.  Believe it or not I learned a thing or two myself . . . and I'm a professional!

It's a bit long (19 minuten und 36 sekunden) but worth the effort.  There is even a valiant live-action demonstration.  With the help of magic markers and good ole' fashioned German calisthenics it's quite the treat:

Sunday, July 29, 2012

BACK ALLEY FUCK

 

Two neighbors caught on tape.  If only Lovegrove were this interesting. . .

Courtesy of JoeVersatile on Xtube.  

I SEE PENIS: BRUNCH



BSD reader Adam sent in this mysterious I See Penis he discovered while at brunch with friends. . . 

Salt and pepper holder maybe?  Or ancient chastity belt? 

Saturday, July 28, 2012

BIG SHOE INTERVIEW WITH BRADFORD NORDEEN (DIRTYLOOKSNYC.ORG) AND KARL MARXXX

On a recent trip to NYC, Colby and Karl Marxxx stopped by one of the many amazing installations put together by Bradford Nordeen and team as part of the Dirty Looks NYC event, On Location.  The month-long series of video installations, performance art events and movie showings in both art/theatre spaces, as well as non-traditional venues like bars and the backs of vans, has met with great success.  If you live in NYC, there are still a few events left, so be sure to check them out.

Karl and Bradford have a brief conversation here outside Julius Bar, one of the longest continually-operating gay bars in NYC and the site of the original NYC Mattachine Society meetings.  After the conversation, we all headed inside to watch some dudes from rural Ohio in the 60s have sex for voyeurs (aka police sting operation teams).


Friday, July 27, 2012

FLICK U: ATTENBERG


In the spirit of Dogtooth, a deeply disturbing Greek comedy about a controlling father who keeps his adult children locked at home, director Athina Rachel Tsangari's film Attenberg traces the relationship of a young woman-- again force-ably isolated from society-- whose complete unfamiliarity with sex finds expression in the iconic nature films of British documentarian Sir David Attenborough and her father's impending death. 

The best scene in the movie deals with what else. . . DICK!  Check it out below:

BIG BLACK MELONS


Corn might be taking a big hit from the record droughts this summer, but my favorite summer treat, melons, remain as plentiful as ever.  That is, if you trust the produce buyer at my local grocery chain. 

In boobs = melons v. corn = penis, boobs win every time.  Go figure. 


This year I came across a special treat.  In addition to Tuscan cantaloupe, Juan Canary (my favorite!), Crenshaws and whole crop of new melons I've never tasted, I stumbled on a bin of big black watermelons.  The melon looks blacker in person that it does in the pic.  Not quite as dark as a Densuke, a Japanese watermelon that can fetch up to $6,100 a piece, but sweet enough for this melon man. 


Thursday, July 26, 2012

MORNING "INSPIRATION"



"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

--Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Airman's Odyssey: Night Flight/Wind Sand & Stars/Flight to Arras

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

WHEN I DIP YOU DIP WE DIP



Remember the 90's?  When summers only got to the 90s, computer graphics embarrassed everyone just a little, and no one knew how to dance?  Including black folk?

Yes, the 90s: Blossom, NAFTA, and Gennifer Flowers.  Those were the daze. . . . In my opinionation the sun is gonna surely shine. . .

Bear with hip dysplasia courtesy of Berlin fashion rag 032c.  Music video courtesy of Freak Nasty.


THE EYES HAVE IT; OOH YEAH. . .


Everyone thinks sex workers are shallow, but the perspicacious porn connoisseurs at Randy Blue show us when you look deep into the eyes of your favorite porn star you see. . . another porn star!  

I couldn't be in a better line-up.  Thanks to Evil Jeff for the flattering montage.    

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

SEX TOY RESCUE



While the People's Republic of China likely produces nearly every single plastic and silicon-based object in the world, in a country of 1.3 billion people, not every Tom, Dick and cop is going to recognize a sex doll when it comes floating down the river. . . Or a vagina that looks like a rare mushroom. . . 

Monday, July 23, 2012

COLBY KELLER & KARL MARXXX DO AMERICA!!! HELP US OUT!!!

Our route will look something like this!
HELP US PASS THIS PRESS RELEASE ON!!!

Ten year porn veteran and popular art-nerd porn blogger, Colby Keller hits the road for more adventures with Big Shoe Diaries.  Keller, 31 will be driving with co-blogger and queer performance artist Karl Marxxx of the Big Shoe Team from NYC to Seattle, Washington August 10th to 18th to see and share the funniest and randiest that the northern United States have to offer.  Colby, the resident Manhunt.net sex advice vlogger is also hoping to secure engagements at bars/clubs/community centers/bachelor and bachelorette parties for his infamous "Colby Keller Spanking Station." 

Know of a crazy I SEE PENIS landmark Colby shouldn't miss?
Want to book Colby for a night of spanking at your club or porn-friendly private house party?

Send us an email at Big Shoe Diaries - that's bigshoediaries@gmail.com OR lawntattoo@gmail.com

We'll be conducting interviews, hopefully hosting some events and taking photos of everything gay and perverted along the way.  But we need your help.  Spread the word to party planners, club owners, gallerists, artists we should interview and randy local tour guides so that we can make this trip the best possible.

Our current (and relatively flexible) itinerary is as follows:

August 10th (Pittsburgh or Cleveland)
August 11th (Chicago or Madison)
August 12th (Minneapolis)
August 13th somewhere in North/South Dakota
August 14th somewhere in Montana
August 15th somewhere in Idaho/Utah/western Oregon
August 16th Portland
August 17th Seattle

Help us secure our timeline and tell us what we should see!!!  See you on the open road!

Colby Keller & Karl Marxxx Do America!
bigshoediaries@gmail.com
lawntattoo@gmail.com

SO YOU WANNA BE A PORN STAR? MANHUNT DAILY SEXPERT ADVICE

It's time for more advice from the folks at Big Shoe Diaries.  Manhunt Daily continues their sexpert advice video column with Colby, and an appearance last week from Big Shoe contributor, Dale Cooper.  Check out Manhunt Daily again tomorrow for a new video, but in case you missed last week's, check it out now!



Sunday, July 22, 2012

COLBY'S RIDE: URBAN DUNE BUGGY

Seems impractical? But oh so fun!

EIGHT DAYS A WEEK: HOLY AND APOSTOLIC



"I am black but comely, O daughters of Jerusalem." --p. 84

Try to hide your excitement.  Chapter 18 of Larry Duplechan's "Eight Days a Week":

Saturday, July 21, 2012

BINKY BROWN MEETS THE HOLY VIRGIN MARY



The first book-length (74 pages) autobiographical text to appear in the world of underground comics, Binky Brown Meets the Holy Virgin Mary set an enduring trend.  The book revolves around it's author Justin Green, whose struggle with obsessive compulsive disorder takes a peculiar bend. Puberty brings with it a particular and unsettling new reality for the young author.  Bound to a conservative Catholic upbringing, Green struggles to keep toxic sex rays emanating from his penis (and later from his hands, feet and furniture) from striking the statues of the Virgin Mary and other Catholic relics.  "Binky Brown" chronicles Green's valiant efforts.

The book went on to influence dozens of graphic novelists, including the author of the Holocaust series Maus.  For your own hardcover reprint, consult the McSweeney's online store.  



Friday, July 20, 2012

DOG ON PIG ON CAT ON RABBIT ON. . .


If love knows no bounds, just imagine what sex can do. . . .  




I SEE PENIS: TSINTAOSAURUS


Where is a time machine when you need one! 

Tsintaosauraus was a hadrosaurid or "duck-billed" dinosaur that lived in present-day Shandong province in southern China during the late Cretaceous period, some 80 million years ago.  Palaeontologists initially thought the strange unicorn like protrusion from the animal's head was simply a broken part of the original specimen's jaw.  Subsequent discoveries confirmed the presence of an unusual phallic crest, making Tsintaosauraus a distinct genus from other, more common crestless hadrosaurs.  Some believe that air sacs, similar to those used by frogs to make loud calls, connected the boney protrusion to the nasal cavity.  Unlike similar duck-billed dinosaurs with crests, the protrustion was not hollow, leading some paleontologists to doubt Tsintaosauraus used the protrusion to project sound like a horn.  

Thanks to BSD reader Matthew for the submission.




Thursday, July 19, 2012

ARTISTS I LIKE: PARKER TILGHMAN


During my recent trip to Berlin, I bumped into photographer and artist Parker Tilghman on the street.  Actually, Parker recognized me on the street then sent me a email a few days later to confirm.  We never had the time or pleasure to introduce ourselves in person.  He offered to take my portrait only after I'd already returned home to Baltimore.  Now, Parker is off enjoying a studio residency program at Documenta in Kassel, Germany.  If I could be more jealous it's hard to tell how.

See more of Parker's work HERE.    
 











I SEE FOOD: SEA PENIS


There may be nothing I enjoy more than a trip to the Korean spa and a full course of Korean BBQ.  I'm a pretty adventurous eater.  Food normally doesn't scare me.  One Korean delicacy however, might require an extra bottle of soju to stomach: Gaebul (often translated to penis fish, sea penis or fat innkeeper worm in English).  A species of marine spoon worm, Urechis unicinctus, is often served raw in Korea with a side of salt and sesame oil.  In other parts of Asia sea penis is often stir-fried.
Next time I get hungry and horny at the same time, I'll know just what to order.  


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

FLIP FLOPS ON PATROL


 "Bad Boiz"

It was hot as balls again in the back alleys of Baltimore.  Cop Dad: single father, hardworkin', hardrinkin', hardfuckin'-- beating the heat, working his meat, on the street.  He's a brilliant cop with a troubled past and scars that run deep.  When a cold case is reopened, he'll find out that the ties that bind can also thrill.  This city has secrets.  So does his past.  He's on the trail of a serial monogamist . . . with no strings attached.  

For much better writing and a shirt all your own check out COP DAD by "Friend of Colby" Justin.

If you're in LA-LA Land next Monday swing by the Cop Dad launch party at Mustache Mondays.  Cop Dad contributor and pop singer Actually will perform live.
 
Scroll below to see Cop Daddy Colby on patrol-- short shorts, flip-flops and a grin to win-- bringing 8 inches of warm, hard justice to the bad boiz of Baltimore.  





ALLUDING ILLUSIONS






Oh Huffington Post. . . How far you've come

Momma always said I shouldn't get my news from the internets, though I have to admit it took me a few to decipher some of these:







SIESTA OF SADNESS


Where is a prickly cactus when you need one.  More from BSD reader and avid Photoshop aficionado Tim:




Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I SEE PENIS: GRANDMA'S FOREHEAD


I knew there was a good reason Nanna wore a wig. . .