Friday, November 30, 2012

PERFECT COCK: FAKES AND FLAKES


So many fake online profiles in LA with perfect fake cocks, it's enough to drive a size queen insane!  Here are just a few of my favorites:







I SEE ANUS: EGG CHAIR



Eggs and assholes from the Queer Pile-up, by artist Michael Henry Hayden.  If you're in LA this Saturday, catch the closing reception:


Saturday, December 1, 2012 - World AIDS Day
12-7pm - Special Gallery Hours
7-10pm - Closing Reception: Women Together... Fantastic (WTF!) Featuring Eden’s Herbal Soda Co. (hand-brewed, non-alcoholic beverages), Onya Hogan-Finlay, Kim Kelly and Dylan Mira (short videos), Lili Lakich (neon art lecture), Tara Jane O’Neil (live performance), Otherwild (pop-up shop) and Marty Windahl (MW) (tarot readings).

See more artwork from the show HERE, and pics from the opening HERE.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

I SEE PENIS: RUB HER COKE


Surprise, surprise.  I saw penis at the Queer Pile-Up. . . Lesbian penis.  From artist Eve Fowler's Letter Press Poster series.  Printed by non-other than the Colby Poster Printing Company.


QUEER ART PILE UP!


Christopher Shultz, "Mopping is Stealing"

This week I had the great pleasure to attend (and contribute!) to the Third Annual Queer Pile-Up, a brief installation of queer art, hosted by Darin Klein and friends (with Suzanne Wright) and ForYourArt in Los Angeles.  Anyone willing and able was allowed to present work up to and during the opening.  96 artists in total contributed, including 5 drop-in performance artists.  A surprising number lesbians presented "I see Penises" while an even smaller, though profoundly more surprising, contingent of gay male artists made vaginas. 

If you're in LA, don't fret, you can still see the show, but only for a couple more days:

Thursday & Friday, November 29 & 3012-5pm - Special Gallery Hours

Saturday, December 1, 2012 - World AIDS Day
12-7pm - Special Gallery Hours
7-10pm - Closing Reception: Women Together... Fantastic (WTF!) Featuring Eden’s Herbal Soda Co. (hand-brewed, non-alcoholic beverages), Onya Hogan-Finlay, Kim Kelly and Dylan Mira (short videos), Lili Lakich (neon art lecture), Tara Jane O’Neil (live performance), Otherwild (pop-up shop) and Marty Windahl (MW) (tarot readings).

PLEASE RSVP TO WTF! ON FACEBOOK: 
http://www.facebook.com/events/116444128518856/ 

To see more artwork from the show, click HERE.  To see pics from the opening click HERE.  To see a Colby Keller original, scroll ALL the way to the bottom of the page. . .

Justin J.  (my good friend), "Party Monster" 


Christina Tsui, "Moon Over Candy Mountain"


A. Allegra, "untitled"


Mariah Garnett, "Banana"


Tiger Munson, "Atomic"


 Kate Hoffman, "Nude" 


Alex Miller, "Mouth Piece" 


Charles K. Rosenberg, "Blanket"


Drumroll please. . . . . . . . . . . .. ...... .... ... ...........My entry, "2 Days In".  

My friend Justin told me about the Third Annual Queer Pile-Up as I was boarding my plane to LA.  Obviously, I didn't have time to contribute anything from home.  I figured I could still make something once I landed.  I spent the first two days of my trip at a Days Inn in Hollywood.  The installation date (and opening) for Queer Pile-Up occurred on the same day I checked out of my room to switch motels.  I decided that I could only make a piece using material from my hotel room.  I brewed two cups of coffee, poured one and then another into a complimentary Days Inn cup and inserted a small washcloth, which, through the magic of wicking, licked up all the liquid and color.  

You can own the piece above for the price I paid for two nights in a queen size bed: $266.54.  The piece is also available as an unlimited series.  Book me a room at any hotel for your chosen number of nights, pay me an identical amount, and I will construct a sculpture using the material available to me in my hotel room.  :-)  

Now that's what I call room service.  Literally.  That's the name of the series.  


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

I SEE PENIS: SEINFELD



I SEE PENIS: WINTER


Take a deep breath and relax, Midwest! You're about to get fucked by a snow penis.  It's about to penetrate and shower you with snow, so be sure to have the proper protection. . . parkas, gloves, hats and scarves and what not!  Take cover! Here it cums!!!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

EIGHT DAYS A WEEK: CHUNK-a-chunk-CHUNK-a-chunk-CHUNK



Au contraire, I have always appreciated the sheer juvenile silliness of American Top 40 pop.

--p. 124

Chapter 34, yet less sex, of Larry Duplechan's Eight Days a Week:


I SEE PENIS: OBAMA'S HANCOCK


Leave it to the President of the United States to to find a way to insert his penis somewhere.  Whether it's an intern's mouth or a war torn country, the "leader of the free world" always seems to be inserting his ego-infused phallus some place or another.  And Mr. Obama is no different. . .he's just more subtle.  Thanks to blog reader, Will for pointing us to the glorious penmanship of the Executive Branch.

TOMORROW: THE END OF MALE


Not long ago, a few good writers at Good Magazine got laid off.  A few more of their friends decided to voluntarily leave the publication and join them.  Turning tragedy into triumph, they banded together to form a new magazine: Tomorrow-- thanks in no small part to the well wishes and financial support of many of you.  Their kickstart dream is now a reality.  In addition to a wide range of brilliant articles in the premier issue, BSD readers will especially appreciate "The End of Male: The Masculinity Crisis is more biological than cultural" by Zak Stone, accompanied by beautifully rendered drawings of writhing vaginas and quivering cocks by LA-based artist Kathryn Garcia.  I can't help but think of the images above and below as the futuristic hallmarks of a hybridized LA: the standard San Fernando porn industry close-up coupled with the far-too-frequent-for-comfort freeway pileup (thanks to California's new condoms-only law, the valley's future as the world capitol of cum itself remains in question).     

Given close inspection, you might even discover a moderately unintelligable blurb on the future of porn by yours truly.  Grab your copy today.  With Christmas colors on the cover, it makes the perfect stocking stuffer.  
  


Monday, November 26, 2012

IS THIS YOUR VAGINA?


There it is!

Finally!

I found mine.  And it dices vegetables.  Where is your vagina?

I SEE PENIS for lady parts, courtesy of the tumblr "Is This Your Vagina?" and BSD reader Bernard.

Maybe Lacan got it wrong.  It's not a phallus we're all missing, but a warm, loving vagina. . . Or maybe that's exactly what he meant.  Damn you mom.  ;-)


 


COLBY BAKES A PIE FOLKS



Sick of Thanksgiving pie?

Well you haven't had my pie: sweet butternut squash with bacon, caramelized onions, and a hearty dose of commentary.  Granted, without Piefolk master-baker Michael I'd get lost in the piecrust and the conversation, but I think you'll enjoy the results regardless.  To read the first part of our interview and see even more Colby pics, courtesy of the ever-talented photographer Adam Gardiner, check out Piefolk HERE.



 

Sunday, November 25, 2012

DID YOU REDDIT?: CONNECT WITH COLBY


For those of you looking for more ways to connect with Colby, the Big Shoe Diaries Minister of Propaganda, Karl Marxxx has some exciting information for you.  Mr. Keller has recently created a Reddit profile so you can now share your pressing art/erotic/penis/vagina/beard/glasses/spirit animal/foodie/porn/etc. articles with the folks at Big Shoe Diaries in even more exciting and interactive ways. And to get you even more excited, here's a clip from one of my favorite Portlandia skits about keeping up on all the stories (I'm sure you've already seen it) and a funny foodie parody from the folks at Brokelyn.




parody from the smart folks at Brokelyn).

I SEE PENIS: CAKE

 "Baby shower"

If you have a sweet tooth that won't quit but are sick of Thanksgiving pie, try one of these tasty cakes instead.  

Courtesy of BSD reader Newbold and the blog "Cake Wrecks":

 "Elf"
 "Palm Tree"
 "Old MacDonald"
 "UFO"
"Lighthouse"

Saturday, November 24, 2012

I SEE PENIS: TOWEL RACK @juanip_

Wrap your paper towels around this pretty shaft. Courtesy of "friend of Colby" Juan Ignacio @juanip_

I SEE PENIS: DALLAS



Just about the size I like. . . The Big "D" is right!

Reunion Tower decked out Texas style.  Holiday greetings from BSD reader and Dallas native Bruce.

Friday, November 23, 2012

NAME THAT VEGGIE: A CSA SURPRISE!

I've got a prize for the first reader that correctly identifies this massive member of the celery family that played a major role in the Karl Marxxx Thanksgiving weekend.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

HAPPY THANKSFISTING: WHEN BASTING ISN'T ENOUGH

Just wash your hands afterwards.








I SEE BOOBIES: PLY-MOUTH


TURKEY TITS 

. . . And just cause I'm gaaay to stay, and dumb enough to care (despite my overwhelming masculine equanimity), Thanksgiving day themed nails:



For those among you illiterate to our American customs, that's Plymouth governor William Bradford (clockwise from the upper left), Rudolph, Squanto, a duck and corn on the cob.