Sunday, November 24, 2013


It's incredibly rare when a "gift" from a "fan" leaves me feeling nothing but cold-hearted.  Frequent illegal porn watcher Sean not only felt the need to confess his bad habit (one I can't say I haven't indulged in myself), he also felt the need to extract free exposure from my exposed boner and the cojones to call that "socialism".  To be clear Sean, socialism attempts to organize society under the aegis of "fairness" and "equality", unlike capitalism, which can only hope to compensate workers partially (the rest going to profit and the like). . . and then of course there is slavery-- free labor-- which seems to be a lot closer to what you want from me.  Steal my labor once, that's on you; Steal my labor twice, that's on me.  You got my ass confused with yo' miniature pincher, cause I ain't yo' bitch.  Bitch.

My penis is not your publicist.

You could have at least sent me your book along with one I might actually want.  Manners children!

Disturbing historical analogies aside (you know I got your back-- Librarians of the World Unite!), I couldn't help but think of one tempting solution to warm me back up:


  1. Sweet Colby...ignore the haters. I've never seen you post angrily. I hope it was cathartic.

  2. Sean made a very big HUGE mistake.

  3. "My penis is not your publicist." OH SHIT!

  4. Thank you Colby. Your blog is always a joy.

  5. The douche levels are extremely high here, but I can't get past the letterhead he wrote the note on. I mean, seriously....

  6. This is a smart, ethical, powerful post! I hope you get an apology.

  7. I think Sean was trying to be witty and unfortunately was not.

    I hope that's photoshopped and you don't actually go starting fires every time you're upset with someone.

    1. I'm not sure I could ever agree that the theft of someone's hard work could be considered witty. But perhaps I'm just a cynic.

  8. Whether the guy was trying to be funny or not, it was extremely rude and dismissive to Colby. The only good thing to come out of this is that Angry Panda Colby is kinda hot.