Tuesday, April 30, 2013

T & A TUESDAY PART DEUX: C'EST MOI


Well, no "T" actually, just "A".  But its my butt, blemishes and all.  :-)  My butt and a book from my good friend, the brilliant Norwegian curator Geir HaraldsethGreat! I've written something stupid . . . but haven't signed a contract with anyone to produce solely wise and perfect works.

In this concise and entertaining quick read, Geir hits on everything from James Franco's aspiring art career, Cindy Sherman's love life, and what else, excrement (the metaphorically abject and otherwise).  I highly recommend sourcing a copy.  The last chapter "A Feces on Philosophy" is particularly inspired.  Unfortunately, I pulled the very last edition from the shelves of Printed Matter in NYC.  If they haven't replenished their stock yet, try Antenne Books online.


T & A TUESDAY


First the T (as seen on Baltimore public transportation): sanguine and saggy.

Then the A: redunk-u-lucious ba-dunk-a-dunk from thong purveyor Gegg Homme.  I don't know whether to pop a boner or roll on the floor laughing . . . or both.  Ouch!

Great mirrors though.  Every narcissists dream!  At least mine.  :-)


If saggy and sanguine doesn't set you off but shaved man boobs do, then you'll appreciate Part 1.

Giggles.  

Monday, April 29, 2013

I SEE D P: GRAND FLORIDIAN


"Two fisting"

Not one, but two mammouth pink monster pricks + one eager rose bud = kid in candy store-- Disney's Grand Floridian hotel actually, where I literally stumbled across this remarkably graphic double penetration carpet.  

It's an odd thing indeed to trudge off to an exclusive Disney owned resort (via complimentary Disney shuttle bus no less) explicitly to grab a late night drink.  I half expected the friendly "cast member" bar tender to axe the liquor all together and serve me simple syrup with a cherry on top instead.  Boy was I wrong.  Best Rusty Nail ever!  An avid scotch drinker, Walt would be proud.    


In know.  Not a pretty picture: Craning my neck to service one delicate rosebud and tickle two succulent sacs of man margarine all with the same stroke.  Some rides at Disney take more skill than you might imagine(eer).  :-)


BONERS FOR BOOKS: RADICAL THINKERS


A great big giant orgone-infused erection for BSD reader Steve who recently made a fantastic contribution to my "Boners for Books" program-- straight from Verso's Radical Thinkers series, a collection of essays by Marxist polymath and inventor of the infamous Orgone Accumulator, William Reich.  Reich's controversial views helped get him kicked out of both the Communist Party of Germany in 1933 AND the International Psychoanalytic Association in 1934.  In 1956, the bulk of his books and papers were forcibly incinerated under court order by the US Food and Drug Administration.  Reich died shortly after from heart failure while in prison in Pennsylvania for contempt of court.

To elicit radical wood from your very own friendly Marxist porn professional browse potential contributions HERE.  :-) 


Sunday, April 28, 2013

EIGHT DAYS A WEEK: WHITE GAUZE POTATO SACK


"Lavinia White was easily among the ten most beautiful women I had ever seen.  She was a caramel-dipped Joey Heatherton.  Her hair looked like you could comb it with a feather.  Her skin looked like if you bit her, she'd taste like butterscotch pudding.  In a cinched-in backless strapless white gauze potato sack of a dress that would make four out of five women look like a white gauze sack of potatoes, Lavinia White looked like an artist's rendering of the Original Sin."

--p. 213-214

Chapter 53 of Larry Duplechan's Eight Days a Week:

DISNEY WORLD-WEARY


Life imitates art. . . and Colby imitates art-- sculptor Duane Hanson's "The Traveller II" specifically, from 1986, kept behind glass at the Orlando Airport.


A MAN OF MANY EARS


. . . All of them big:








A hat on a hat. . . with mini-Mickey tails:


Saturday, April 27, 2013

STUD WITH STACHE: BERNARD WELT


70s porn icon or art historian?  Or both!?  You be the judge.  

Meet him in person if you must.  Corcoran professor Bernard Welt has invited me to speak to his class this coming Wednesday, May Day, about art, Andy Warhol, film and what else. . . sex!  Well, porn, but close enough.  :-)

BIGSHOES IN THE MIST


I may look like an ape, but my hands aren't nearly as large as those of a 6 year old male gorilla.  Proudly, I can match the ears of any 32 year old chimp . . .





Friday, April 26, 2013

TORTOISE COITUS INTERRUPTUS


Who else could turn a family friendly tortoise coitus twosome into a raunchy reptilian rampage (or just a friendly hug as it seems).   I discovered this adorable pair of mating penises where else. . . At Disney World's Animal Kingdom in Orlando this past weekend, on a mini-cation with "Friend of Colby" Margene and her West Virginia farmer family.  

FUN FACT: Before Chesapeake "crab" cakes caught the attention of the nation, turtle soup was the regional dish of distinction in my home city of Baltimore.  Philadelphia also laid claim to the terrapin and both cities competed to outdo the other, until, naturally, we drove the local diamondback terrapin nearly to extinction and were forced instead to turn to bottom-feeders (thankfully, not yet "overfished") and cheesesteak.

STAPLE THAT MEAT BACK TOGETHER: ARTWORK BY JOHN LEE BIRD


The artist, John Lee Bird offered his take on the most recent series of Colby photography.  It's like Robert Mapplethorpe meets Edward Gorey.  MEAT! What do you think?

Thursday, April 25, 2013

TOO SEXY FOR SAUDI ARABIA?


Too sexy for Saudi Arabia?

See the proof for yourself.  A citizen of neighboring Dubai, fashion photographer, poet and "Boy with Beard" Omar Borkan Al Gala was one of three men recently deported from Saudia Arabia for being too handsome.

What do you expect with those baby brown eyes!  I'd slip out of my abaya to climb under his thobe any  ole day.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.





TOUCH YOUR TOES


You know how much I like BIG fat gifs.  And gifts!  Thanks you Kristen, who sent me a thick and juicy copy of the Butt Magazine Book.  Big butts are always nice too. :-)  Sometimes I can't decide which I like more.  :-)


Wait, there IS more. . .  I forgot to include my big feet.  It's hard taking pictures by yourself!




Wednesday, April 24, 2013

I SEE PENIS: "LIFE" ON MARS


 For the past several years, we limited our #ISEEPENIS sightings to the planet known as Earth. Clearly, we were missing out on phallic representation in the wider Solar System.  Thanks to the efforts of NASA and the Mars Rovers, we can now confirm our first #ISEEPENIS sighting on a terrestrial body other than Earth.  Now that we've seen "life" on Mars. . . where will we see penis next?  To Infinity and Beyond. . .


COLBY'S GOT BLUE BALLS. . . BOCCE BLUE BALLS

A night of Bocce ball has left Colby sad and blue. Can anyone help him with this horrible affliction?!?!?





Tuesday, April 23, 2013

(NSFW) LIVE FROM NEW YORK CITY: COLBY KOKIGAMI ON MORNING WOOD EDITION!!!

This Colby-kokigami set just gets me all kinds of excited.  And to think, a version of me was so close to the actual thing. "Brad" from NYC just kept on giving and giving and giving, sending multiple versions of his beautiful penis with me wrapped around it.  I feel like a worn out lover that's taken everything he's had to give, and yet I'm jealous of myself at the same time.  Can anyone help me with these confusing feelings?  I'll be hanging out at the bathroom in the park if anyone wants to swing by and just talk.






GERMAN VICE MAGAZINE INTERVIEW WITH COLBY KELLER

Do you ever forget things you've done in the past until someone sends a polite email to remind you?  Well, this week, the lovely Stefan Lauer reminded me about an interview I did with him when I was in Berlin last summer.  The interview, for German VICE magazine was apparently tabled for a bit, but is now live and you can read all about. . .  well, I don't speak German so I don't remember what I said at this point.  You'll have to read it for yourself . . . or seduce a German speaker and have him or her translate it for you on your smartphone in post-coital conversation.


Monday, April 22, 2013

I SEE BUTT: ASS TREE INSPIRES LESLIE HALL & BIG FREEDIA


That tree has a big old booty.  Is anyone else seeing a mashup of Big Freedia and Leslie Hall in the near future???



ERIK HANSON DOES COLBY: PORN STAR PORTRAITURE DONE RIGHT


So many Colbys! So little time. . .

Visual artist, Erik Hanson and Colby Keller are becoming a bit of item, it seems, inasmuch as Hanson's SoHo studio is now filled with beautiful portraits of Mr. Big Shoe himself. I got to visit Erik in his studio this weekend to see the product of an earlier meeting when Colby sat for some photographs that served as the inspiration for some beautiful Colby portraits.  I have a couple favorites. Do you?

If you're interested in a portrait, or checking out more of Hanson's work, visit him at his blog.