Wednesday, July 31, 2013

I READ SEMEN?


Before you get too excited, I think the "C" in South Africa's chain book store "CUM Boeke" stands for "Christian".  I guess irony doesn't translate into Afrikaans?

Oddly though, there is a whole section on their website devoted to quadruple amputee Christians.

Thanks to BSD reader Roger for spotting this one.


PORN SEX VS. REAL SEX, AS TOLD WITH VEGETABLES


. . . As told with vegetables, champagne and pancakes. . . All kinds of food really.  Something tells me porn and real sex find much more in common in the gay world.  What's your guess?

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

BONERS FOR BOOKS: JOY IN PEOPLE


How happy do books make me???  VERY happy.

To prove it (and apologize to BSD reader Greg who sent in a beautiful monograph of the work of artist Jeremy Deller while I was out of town), I took not one but nine photos, each with a different smile. . . to demonstrate the precise degree of my appreciation-- with joy in my heart and blood in my broomstick.  

Gone for nearly the entire month, I dashed off to the post office just in the nick of time.  My package was two days past the return date.  Phew!  Thank you overworked postal workers.  Thank you Greg and thank you Jeremy for some very inspiring work.








JUST WHERE I LIKE IT. . . COLBY ON THE BOOK SHELF

Big Shoe Diaries Fan, Richard shared this great photo he keeps in his home. . . it's one of the great Gabe Ayala photos, nicely framed and set in exactly the right place. . . a bookshelf, so I can be close to all those words and pictures.  Beautiful!


I SEE PENIS: HEDGE FUND MYTH


Even the airport newsstand is chocked full of cock these days!  Gotta do something in "Business Class" with all that extra leg room right?  

Monday, July 29, 2013

R.I.P. WALTER DE MARIA, ARTIST I LOVE


"The Lightening Field"

Among the many art adventures I had the privilege to indulge this past month thanks to a busy porn schedule, I had the great fortune to finally visit the Dia Art Foundation's mammoth installation space on the Hudson river in Beacon New York (Thanks Ray Dragon!).

Among Dia's top shelf art offerings was a large floor piece by artist Walter De Maria.  Sadly, De Maria died this Thursday in Los Angeles.  While on a brief trip to California to celebrate his mother's 100th birthday De Maria suffered a stroke.  Along with other "Earth Artists" like Robert Smithson, De Maria's work straddled both Minimalism and Conceptual art.  He's perhaps best know for "The Lightning Field", first opened in 1977, a large grid of 400 stainless steel poles averaging 20 feet in height that cover an area of 1 kilometer by 1 mile in the desert of New Mexico.  Thanks to the Dia Foundation, you can view another famous piece by De Maria, "New York Earth Room" also from 1977, in which the artist filled a loft in Soho with 22 inches of specially treated, inert dirt (so nothing grows in it).

In addition to sculpture, De Maria played in several bands, most famously one that went on to become The Velvet Underground.

Here are a few of my favorite pieces:


"New York Earth Room"


"Cross" 1965-66


"Star" 1972


"Swastika" 1966


"Triangle", "Circle", "Square" (All 1972)




De Maria in front of "The Broken Kilometer" 1979, another Dia Foundation installation on view at 393 West Broadway, NYC

COLBY'S FANTA-SEE


I'M BACK!  

Finally home in Baltimore after a month traveling for work (with limited wifi) only to return home to intermittent wifi and a 25% raise in rent from my evil slumlord Simone.

Thankfully my lease already renewed but I may not get the chance to call Balmer home much longer. . .

There was sooooo much I wanted to post while I was away and now I can't remember a single bit of it.  Damn you Alzheimer's!  For starters, I had something very smart to say about this series of portraits by the incomparable Gabe Ayala, taken at LA's premier sex club The Zone.  Unfortunately, we booked the joint before it opened so I didn't get any tail.  An entire month away from home in three major US cities. . . You think I'd find at least one sensible hookup outside of work right???

To see more of Gabe's work, check out his new zine TYPE / FACE or view his website HERE.  










Thursday, July 25, 2013

FLIGHTS OF BEER & FANCY IN THE HUDSON RIVER VALLEY



Minister of Propaganda (and major beer aficionado), Karl Marxxx and Colby Keller escaped up the Hudson River to Beacon, NY this past weekend.  While the main thrust of the trip was work for Colby and art for all (Dia Beacon posts to come!), the Big Shoe Diarists got a chance to sample a couple of tasty flights of beer from the local craft beer establishment, The Hop Beacon. Drinking through the draft beer selection from light to dark brought more than a glimmer to bearded Colby's already sparkly eyes.









I SEE PENIS: IT'S THE TRAFFIC REPORTERS TOO!!!

Green screen penises are a dime a dozen when it comes to weather forecasters as they attempt to show the why and how of storms as the develop in an area, but it seems like the traffic reporters are trying to infringe on the accidental map penis territory.


Thursday, July 18, 2013

OUCH!!! WHAT A COLBY KELLER SPANKING STATION REALLY MEANS. . .


As dutiful readers and sore Canadians will recall, I was in Toronto for Pride recently hosting one of my infamous "Colby Keller Spanking Stations" during Pride.  I had blast and a half spanking all those adorable Canadian bums.  A Colby favorite, artist J. Bone rendered this excellent perception versus reality graphic to give those of you haven't received a signature spank, what exactly you're missing.  Thanks, J. Bone!!!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

EIGHT DAYS A WEEK: KOOL-AIDE UNDER THE BRIDGE


IT IS DONE!

The ultimate, final, crowning and concluding chapter of Larry Duplechan's Eight Days A Week-- The love story of aspiring nightclub singer Johnnie Ray Rousseau and 6'2" time-jumping, worm-hole cosmonaut Colby Keller (or "Keith" Keller as he is known in the book), serendipitously discovered at the Baltimore Book Thing on Leap Day and read religiously one chapter at a time, exactly every eight days:




Perhaps best known for "Please Mr. Postman", The Marvelettes' "Beechwood 4-5789":

COLBY'S RIDE: BLUE RIDER

Everyone knows Colby loves a hot ride!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

BIG SHOE FAVORITE PERFORMANCE ARTIST TONIGHT AT JOE'S PUB!!!

Erin Markey never ceases to amaze us at Big Shoe Diaries.  She's hilarious, talented, irreverent and incredibly butch while being sexy and alluring at the same time (everything we strive for!).  Tonight you have the chance to see her at Joe's Pub in NYC.  Here work has appeared on the blog before, but now's your chance to see her in person. 

Enjoy this excerpt from tonight's show, and then go buy your tickets before it sells out!


Monday, July 15, 2013

I SEE PENIS: WET DOG


Blog reader, Andy from Western Australia could not find his dog.  He looked everywhere for the cute little guy and even found this enormous black penis in the shower, but where was his beloved d-o-. . . wait a minute!  There is he is-PENIS DOG!!!

I SEE PENIS: STAINED GLASS WINDOW


It's no Rose window, but something makes me thing the designer of this pretty window was a fan of penis and saw life through rose colored glasses

Sunday, July 14, 2013

EAT MY BREADSTICK


Vaginas, tits, raindrops, a house made of bread sticks and lots and lots of bananas. . . More from Swiss artist Urs Fischer, on view at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles until August 19th.







Me and comedian Greg Walloch inside the bread house.  


Eating said bread house.  




Reflective decapitation cube. . . Perfect device to capture my next Grndr photo?