Tuesday, December 31, 2013

BIGSHOE TUNES: LONG AULD SIGH



 

Setting Sun -- Bobby Birdman
Between Villains -- Captain Murphy feat. Viktor Vaughnn, Earl Sweatshirt and Thundercat
New Year's Eve -- First Aid Kit
Mary -- Freelove Fenner
Anna Lee -- Levon Helm
Sojo No Chosi -- from the album "Harmony of Japanese Music"
Won't You Come Over -- Devendra Banhart
Anniversary Song -- Dustin Wong
She Hates Me -- Scala & Kolacny Brothers
Andinandawo Yokulala -- Abonwabisi Brothers
Megastar -- Prince SAMO feat. World's Fair
Everything Changes -- 8bit bEtty
Thirteen -- Elliott Smith
Huff -- Physical Therapy 
The Auld Triangle -- Chris Thile, Chris Eldgridge, Marcus Mumford, Justin Timberlake & Gabe Witcher
HBA WAR -- Dutch E Germ
The Thirteen Domination -- Jussara Salazar
Prison Palace -- La Shark
Birth In Reverse -- St. Vincent
Semaphore Signals -- Wreckless Eric
Every Year Carries a Number -- Mighty Voices Of Wonder
Thirteen Principles of Faith -- Abayudaya Jews of Uganda
Next Year in Zion -- Herman Düne
Body Mass Index -- Cuddly Shark
Vamo Se Lama -- DEEJAÝ LIL-FOX
Liar -- The Benelux
Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep -- Middle of the Road
Turns Turns Turns -- Majical Cloudz
New Year's Eve -- Dengue Fever 
King James -- Dean Blunt
One Whole Year -- Bomdadil
New Year Celebrations -- from the album "South Pacific Island Music"



The two best results from "Naked Father Time" Google Image search. 

I SEE PENIS: FROSTY TREAT


If you live in a place where it snows, you've probably been tempted to add a penis (or a vagina) to a snow man. Maybe some of you have. But have you ever been so in love with the idea of a frozen phallus that you made a snowy human-size snow cock? I have. 

Saturday, December 28, 2013

CLEANUP


Um.  Oh shit.  Still clean ing.  D sk. T.-p . Cluttr,d.  Hard to clean with one hand.  This one is definitely the hottest.  You, my friend, are going on the hard-drive. 

But where did I find you!? 

How are you real???


LAST MAN SMOKING. . .


Yes.  Even you.  Perfect Body.


PURGING


Not you too Perfect Booty! 

ENDLESS ENGAGEMENT


It's time again: "Desktop" Mega-Purge.

Back into the ether oh ye fair speci-men of perfection! 

Friday, December 27, 2013

COLBY DOPPELGÄNGER: RANDOM NORWEGIAN


"Tim", Norwegian doppelgänger, courtesy of intensive social media research by Minister of Propaganda Karl Marxxx. 

I SEE PENIS: THE WANGCASTER


Christmas gift of my dreams: "The Wangcaster" guitar. 

Thursday, December 26, 2013

CRUISE CONTROL


BSD reader Ken sent me a stack of the wrong kind of porn, two jocks and a pair socks for Xmas.  It's been so long since I've had sex (or played sports?), I can't say I remember how to put two jocks on at the same time, but I gave it every valiant effort.  Thank you Ken!






BONERS FOR BOOKS: RONI HORN


A special Baby-Jesus -Birthday Boner to the generous reader who sent me this catalog of work by Mer-ancholic specialist Roni Horn.  I had to be extra careful taking these pics (the opposite cover shows a similar portrait of Horn as an equally gender-ambiguous little girl).  

Remember.  You still have time to send me a Xmas present.  Don't forget "Christmas in January", not the weird Russian thang obviously, but the sincere desire to acknowledge the birth of the Son of Man and Savior of all Mankind each and every month with a special present just for baby me (and erection reciprocity for you)!!!


Wednesday, December 25, 2013

REIN IT IN. . .


"Reign On King Jesus!" from the album Black Christmas:


. . . "Sweet Little Jesus Boy":


Yes, Lil Akim, Santa is a black man:




I feel like I could sing this one to a lot of "big boys" I know.  "Lit'l Boy (Christ in the Temple)":


"Mary Had a Baby":


"Glory, Hallelujah": 



Black Christmas, performed by Thomas Young, Vanessa Ayers and Robert Mosely


I SEE PENIS: MIDNIGHT MASS


"Oh Come All Ye Faithful" and "Deck the Halls".  I SEE PENIS courtesy of BSD Reader Roger. 

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

I SEE PENIS: DALLAS SANTA


"I See Penis" AND "Colby Doppelgänger" (eyelashes), according to BSD reader Dallas. 

NADOLIG LLAWEN


Happy Holidays from MiniColbee, BigColby, and Petee (who took our holiday portrait above)!!!

Monday, December 23, 2013

THE DOG OF JESUS


Sure to offend devote Muslim students everywhere, "The Dog of Jesus" purports to tell the tail of the incredible "discovery of an immortal dog with miracle healing powers".  I discovered the book on the "free rack" outside the University of Baltimore Athletic Center, where I use the gym. 

While the back jacket goes far enough to explain the general plot, I also highly recommend the writer's bio, itself the inspiring story of how one nagging Taiwanese bride inspired the greatest story ever told.  Inspirational!


"About the Author":




I SEE PENIS: LICKS FOR LEAVES

. . . or "needles" I should say.  Pinophyta-philic penis courtesy of BSD Reader DJ. 

Sunday, December 22, 2013

I SEE PENIS: JUNK ON THE TRUNK


I don't know about you, but I like my junk in the trunk.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

I SEE PENIS: CORPORATE WAITING ROOM


Guess where BSD Reader Timothy discovered this comfy pair of "adult" bean bags?  

Where else, but a corporate waiting room in Sidney, Australia.  Corporations are people too and we all know who gets fucked.  It only makes sense they'd have also genitals.  :-)

Friday, December 20, 2013

I CUM IN PEACE


The "blues" never keep me down for long.  Another fantastic portrait by BSD reader Lee. 

BLUE MAN ME


"Downtime" portraits courtesy of BSD reader Lee.  


Thursday, December 19, 2013

DI PALO'S PANE DEL PENE


I SEE "PAN-IS" courtesy of BSD Reader Edgar. 

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

I SEE PENIS: ICE STORM


Grab a scotch and drop your keys in the bowl. . . Also an excellent movie:

WEDNESDAY WANG


Start off your hump day right with a Wednesday wang ready to bang.  

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

ARTISTS I LIKE: TETSUMI KUDO


Before there were 3-D printers, Japanese artist Tetsumi Kudo made intricate sci-fi terrariums filled with psychedelic dicks on sticks (and dicks trapped in cages). 

Too close to home?  Or is it just me?  See more below:


KINEXTING


To all you wealthy Santas out there, I have some good news!  The top line item on my list this year is relatively affordable (a mere hundred bucks), the Xbox Kinect.  While my recent foray into the world of 3-D printing at the Museum of Art and Design this past October only ended in disappointment, the experience inspired some creative ideaers for future projects.  My body scan somehow left me with a third arm-- an impossible fix according to the kind folks at Shapeways.  There will be no miniature naked Colbys for sale anytime soon.  But . . . Perhaps . . . I could print off my own porn instead?  Frame. By fucking Frame. (literally)

That's essentially what Spanish artist Alejandro Gomez-Arias and his girlfriend did.  Using a Kinect, Alejandro recording himself fucking his girlfriend and posted the results on Vimeo.  Just think what Colby and friends could do with a scanner and, well, a much more costly Christmas present . . . a 3-D printer? :-)


Monday, December 16, 2013

WOWIE: A WOWIE FOR BEST BLOG!!!


Wow, indeed!  We at Big Shoe Diaries were super excited to learn that Colby's blog was awarded a WOWIE for "Best Blog" by the folks at World of Wonder.  We're pretty sure it's Colby's first award (and definitely his first trophy) and the credit goes to everyone who has ever contributed an I SEE PENIS, photos for a Boy with Beard, a Colby Doppelganger, a Colby Kokigami, an original Colby-inspired piece of art, a Boners for Books gift, a donation for server space, etc., etc., etc.  This is truly an honor and Big Shoe Diaries is so proud and happy to share this award with you, the creative and engaged readers that you are. 

Now, let's go to Disneyland. . . or something!

WIND. SHIELD. FUCK


Watch out for the wipers.

HALBSTARKE


In keeping with yesterday's Swiss confectionery theme, check out the sweet belt buckles on these Alpine Elvis aficionados from the 1950s.  While in Miami last week, I had the good fortune to come across a booth of vintage photographs by Karlheinz Weinberger, a Swiss artist who lived in Zurich and documented the "halbstarker" culture of the era.  Karlheinz began his career taking photos for an Italian gay magazine under the pseudonym "Jim".  "Halbstarke" (literally "half strongs") were early forebears of DIY hipster culture, with hair and homemade belt buckles unmatched in size and scope even by Texas standards.  Weinberger continued photographing local subcultures the rest of his life, moving from Halbstarke to Switzerland's version of Hell's Angels (pictured above), though professionally he worked in a Zurich warehouse for most of his life and never gained much income from the sale of his photographs.


The exhibition of Weinberger's work in Miami included several photos of early rock-a-billy-wannabes with raging boners.  Unfortunately, "Fair glare" (that unruly mix of overhead lighting and protective glass) kept me from capturing very many usable images.  I searched for the set online but couldn't find any visual references to his x-rated collection.

Here is a sample of Weinberger's better known (and bigger buckled) work: