HOMO VANGHOMA

Just in case you didn't hit yesterday's DANCE hyperlink: Any woman who can DANCE sitting down, behind a tree stump is a woman after my own heart.  I, for one, take my DANCE parties sitting down.   

Happy Memorial DANCE!  Break out the sports bras brothers and get the party started! 

And if you need help DANCING while standing, consult my ultimate favorite, The Tshetsha Boys:

My orange juice brings all the boys to the yard, Nkata Mawewe -- "Khulumani":

Holy Shit.  This guy totally figured green screen OUT.  I'm taking notes.  Brilliant.  Zinja Hlungwani, "Nwa Gezani My Love":

I CAN'T STOP DANCING!

I HEAR TITS: DICK SUCK

Tips! Sup?

Dick Suck.

TITS UP.  What do you hear?  Cause I hear 'em all.

My Memorial Day gift to you-- It ain't much (but then again, who else gives away presents on Memorial Day??? . . Oh right, the countless men and women of our armed forces).

Enjoy this small mixed bag of BigShoe Tunes, for the following 12 reasons if necessary:

1.

"Please wait here for the Art"-- A little reminder from my Calvinist forefathers, straight from their well-swept Swiss graves: A three day weekend is NO excuse to abandon your work-ethic and go . . . Tits Up (The Uncluded).  ;-)

2.

"Kept in a cupboard or under a blanket, roll it and pat it and finally spank it. . . so ditch it, and burn it and try something new", What You Say (Bobby Birdman).

3.

Umm.  The 80s. . . Remixed in Africa.   Need I say more?  And NO.  I haven't had enough.  Some decades are just better than others.  On Est Ensemble (Kaysha featuring Anofela & Top One Frisson).

4.

Why?  Cause "I wrestle nightly for some instigation" and 'cause my "EXIT door" needs some contraflow traffic if you know what I mean.  All You're Waiting For (CLASSIXX featuring Nancy Whang).

5.  

To The Earth, cause we'll have weekends on the beach come January some day soon (Key Losers).

6.

"Watch me pluck your muthafuckinfeather". . . I'll be in your house, on the couch, with my pistol out", Murdergong (Jib Kidder).

7.

Need something to do?  Relax with Retired Description (Key Losers).

8.

"I crack my whips and swing my hips and wet my lips . . . and stomp my little bossy foot": Karl Marx, John the Baptist, and Temptation?  Sounds like a fun weekend to me!  Tempting Salome, from "The Karl Marx Play" by Galt MacDermot.

9.

Too much for you?  Return to your Gay House Party if you have to!  Funny even if you don't know German. . . like me.  Translations welcome (Jeans Team).

10.

"My dick won't even call her, cause she left all that lipstick".  Down on the bayou, mamma likes to celebrate every government holiday with a "special cigarette", Smoke Again (Chance The Rapper, featuring Ab-Soul).  "Let me put my mouth where you potty boo."

11.

"Thru the kaleidoscope is a grain of sand" . . . especially if you're on the beach this weekend.  Dance bitches!  Dance for Marines!  Dance for Mother Africa!  Dance in my Daddy's memory! (It's his birthday this weekend):  Papa (Tlyiselani Vornaseve).  DANCE!

12.

The Reason for the season. . . Or is it?  Get Free (Major Lazer, featuring Amber of Dirty Projectors)

BUTTS AHOY MATEY

Secret surveillance GIF of Special Agent, scene partner and bunk mate Dale Cooper laying his skivvies on the line.

Keep your eyes peeled for the full release on Cockyboys.com.

GUY WITH GLASSES: MR. RIOT

Straight from Stuttgart and cute as a button, "Guy with Glasses" Kevin, AKA Mr. Riot: He's 21, but "feels much older" in his head.  He works in a youth welfare office in Germany.

"My Great-granfather was mongul (the reason, why my eyes are almond-shaped), I am one of those typical still-water runs deep guys; I'm always horny; Love the colours green, blue and orange."  And we love you Kevin!  (pinches cheeks)

BOOKS FOR BONERS: HARRY BUSH, HARD BOYS

BSD Bud "Shea from SF" knows how to inspire the activist in me.  This IS Masturbate-a-thon 2013 after all and any-and-all wack-off inspiration is well-appreciated.  I feel like I've lost the ability sometimes, especially since I stopped regularly masturbating over a year ago.

What could possibly do the trick better than a beautifully hard-bound copy of "Harry Bush: Hard Boys"?  If you're anything like me and enjoy a well-illustrated ass, you'll enjoy the ouerotic oeuvre of this particularly well-known queer artist.  To see more of his work, check out this dedicated tumblr HERE.

To contribute your own individualized cockshot to the Boners for Books Colby Keller Charity Drive consult this helpful donation guide.

EIGHT DAYS A WEEK: SHE SNORTED A CIGARETTE-SMOKY LAUGH

Despite my cold, I soldier on. . . 

"'Damn close.'  She put a pudgy nail-gnawed hand across mine."

--p. 233

Chapter 56 of Larry Duplechan's Eight Days a Week:

KOKI-"COLBY"-GAMI: BUTTPLUG

A reader simply known as "Buttplug" sent in the following B&W Colby Kokigami pics.  It's been such a looong time since Lil Colby has seen a hard, throbbing ankle spanker, he's holdin' on for dear life!

If Big Colby won't ride your nob (I can only be in so many places on so many men at one time after-all), I guarantee Lil Colby can help.  Give him a shot (or two or three) for both of us.  Simply print him off HERE and submit the results to bigshoediaries@gmail.com.  Feel free to get as creative as you'd like.  I'm still waiting for a Colby Kokigami pic mid-fuck. . . Any takers?

As always, a giant heap of appreciation and praise for illustrator extraordinaire J.Bone.