ROCK HARD . . . MILK

Sounds like dildo makin' time to me. . . A "How-to" guide on dairy "plastic":

BONERS FOR BOOKS: REBEL YOUTH

As promised, more pictures of . . . . ME!  

This time fronting my biggest and best hardcore Swiss hair/"Rebel" stare.  All I need now is a homemade denim jacket and one cantaloupe-size belt buckle varnished with the image of today's top pop star-- John Mayer maybe?

Eish.  

Thanks again to BSD reader Andrew for generously sending me a copy of Rebel Youth, about Swiss photographer Karlheinz Weinberger. 

Weinberger's work: 

HALBSTARKE

In keeping with yesterday's Swiss confectionery theme, check out the sweet belt buckles on these Alpine Elvis aficionados from the 1950s.  While in Miami last week, I had the good fortune to come across a booth of vintage photographs by Karlheinz Weinberger, a Swiss artist who lived in Zurich and documented the "halbstarker" culture of the era.  Karlheinz began his career taking photos for an Italian gay magazine under the pseudonym "Jim".  "Halbstarke" (literally "half strongs") were early forebears of DIY hipster culture, with hair and homemade belt buckles unmatched in size and scope even by Texas standards.  Weinberger continued photographing local subcultures the rest of his life, moving from Halbstarke to Switzerland's version of Hell's Angels (pictured above), though professionally he worked in a Zurich warehouse for most of his life and never gained much income from the sale of his photographs.

The exhibition of Weinberger's work in Miami included several photos of early rock-a-billy-wannabes with raging boners.  Unfortunately, "Fair glare" (that unruly mix of overhead lighting and protective glass) kept me from capturing very many usable images.  I searched for the set online but couldn't find any visual references to his x-rated collection.

Here is a sample of Weinberger's better known (and bigger buckled) work:

I, SPY

A lot of readers wrote in recently questioning the radioactive necessity of photographer Kelly Grider's WWII-era aerial spy lenses.  I, in turn, wrote Kelly for clarification.  To refresh your memory, compare results from the non-radioactive Soviet OF-233M spy lens above and the thorium-infused Kodak Aero Ektar 2.5/306mm lens below: 

 I, for one, appreciated starring straight into my brilliant blue iridescent reflection (courtesy of the non-radioactive Soviet OF-233M) but prefer the resulting soft, romantic edges of the Kodak Aero-Ektar.  A little bit of thorium goes a long way-- sure beats wrinkle cream. 

Kelly responded with this explanation:

"By design, the Aero-Ektars incorporate glass lens elements that contain significant amounts of Thorium. That the cause of the radioactivity is Thorium is indisputable, both on the basis of the documents from the the World War II era and from gamma-ray spectral measurements that I have made. The Thorium-containing glasses were used because these glasses have a high refractive index with a low dispersion (variation of index with wavelength), a highly desirable combination."

For reference, each lens is about the size of your hand and fits on the front end of Kelly's hand-built, home-made camera:

The radioactive Kodak Aero Ektar above, the non-radioactive Soviet OF-233M lens below:

Kelly's home-made camera (reference body unknown). 

COLBY AS KITTY CAT

Have you been naughty this year?

Did Santa's sack full of coal leave you wanting more?

Need a little discipline in your life to turn things around?


Come on down to DC for Mid-Atlantic Leather and let Colby give you a hand.  I'll be manning my very own spanking station at the Manhunt jockstrap party tomorrow night.

Just imagine your bare buttocks pressed firmly against my DIY paddle.  Don't let my growl scare you off.  I'm as gentle as a kitty cat.  Promise.  ;-)

I FORESEE PENIS: ICE COLD MOULD

BSD reader Winston knows how to win over an over-heated Colby-- with all the cold comfort charm only a used Magnum XL condom and an empty toilet paper roll can provide.  Throw in a cocktail or two and a beach house in Nunavut and I'm yours til the last polar ice cap raises the oceans 9 inches. 

Wink.     

COLBY DOES KAI KAI

For all you Drag Race fans out there, I couldn't resist featuring my own kai kai post in honor of season 4's final three.  A few months back I went to see Leslie and the LYs in Baltimore with fellow performer Dale Cooper.  If you're familiar with Leslie's DIY aesthetic, you'll know why Dale and I dressed to the 9s.  Leslie scouts the crowd at her concerts for the best sweater in the pack then rechristens the garment in an elaborate naming ceremony on stage.

WAAAAY back in day, before Leslie hit full-hardon hipster stardom, BSD Minister of Propaganda Karl Marxxx and I hosted Leslie for Thanksgiving Dinner.  She performed later that evening at Karl's dance party in DC.  Not only did I have the distinct honor of hoisting Leslie's elegant avoirdupois on stage in a makeshift sling consisting of a meager leather belt and a single 2X4, she blessed by yiddishe momme bling with an official honorific and a handmade certificate: "Gypsy Lizard Coin Purse".

Naturally, Dale and I also found ourselves on stage, two of only three handpicked contestants-- despite the fact my googly eye jumpsuit doesn't technically qualify as a gem sweater.  An eerie harbinger of season 4's penultimate final episode, the three of us were forced to provide backup choreography for Leslie's song "Gem Sweater".  Sadly, Dale and I lost the opportunity to have our outfits officially blessed by Leslie.  The other contestant, a bio-female in authentic LY attire, won the privilege (it helps to wear gold lamé tights and granny glasses).  Honored all the same, Dale and I had other things planned for our (now sweaty) gem encrusted ensembles.

To watch Dale and I Kai Kai for real, check out our starring roles in Jake Deckard's cum-drenched cum-back skin-flick, "Dirty Director". 

 Baring my best for Leslie's drum kit.

A very special gem for Dale, courtesy of Colby. 

KELLER ON YOUR SWEATER



The perennial practice of commemorating the bedazzled holiday sweater has reached a fever pitch.  A sweater party somewhere in Los Angeles immortalized yours truly this past weekend.  The sweater creator, BSD reader Marcus, even won a prize: the Adele CD pictured with his award winning ensemble above.

A more appropriate gift may have been an album from a diva of a different sort: Queen of ironic sweater consumption, performance artist and musician (and "friend of Colby") Leslie Hall.  I first encountered Hall waaaay back in the Myspace days.  Her MySpace gif is an icon of early-2000zies pre-recession irony.  If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend you click on the previous link.  Though I never had the honor to experience her mobile gem sweater museum, I quickly fell in love with Leslie Hall's ample electro-trash oeuvre.  

Flash forward two years: November 2006.  BSD correspondent Karl Marxxx was busy preparing for TAINT, his queer dance party in Washington, DC.  Before Leslie Hall became too big for her britches, Marxxx managed to book her for a Thanksgiving day performance.  We slaved for two days on turkey and stuffing to please our minor celebrity guest.  She never broke character.  Prompted on her musical influences (admittedly a poor question on my part), she didn't hesitate, "mostly adult contermporary, a little Shania. . . a little Hootie . . ."

We all threw on our gem sweaters and headed to the venue.

In need of volunteers, Leslie grabbed me and a friend from the audience and brought us on stage.  She slung a thick 2X4 across our shoulders, then disappeared.  A few minutes later, she returned with a makeshift harness.  Pulling the harness over one end of the 2X4, she hooked herself in, twirling in close concentric circles while she sang, suspended from our shoulders, like a DIY Britney Spears.  While I'm certain she wore a fat suit for some numbers, she's no light weight.  I worried the board might crack in half.  Leslie, the 2X4, and my clavicle remained intact.  Thank God for "Gypsy Lizard Coin Purse"!  After the concert, Leslie brought me back on stage to officially anoint my own gem sweater.  While I managed to misplace the certificate that accompanied her ingenious sweater christening ceremony, I'll always have the memories.  And now you will too.

ADDIDANIKE

I showed up in NYC with only one pair of shoes...something about the snow and not having time to pack before the train. I was scheduled to attend the Y-3/Addidas Fashion show and only had Nikes with me - horror of horrors. So I bought some black tape and made a hybrid model so no fashion police would attack me and throw me out. I kind of like them....we need more hybrids.

D.I.Y. LUBE

I have found the singular glaring omission in Ellen Lupton's brilliant D.I.Y. book. Do It Yourself Lube - perfect for a day inside while it snows an additional 10-20 inches and you've ALREADY made Snow Dildo Angels...I'm going stir crazy...time to make some lube.