KNOB GOBBLER

Gobble! Gobble!

"Sexy face" is surprisingly hard to maintain stoned.

My go-to GIF maker Gifninja is on the fritz.  Does anyone know where I can find a decent app that doesn't stamp a hideous watermark on the final product?  :-(

BIGSHOE MIX: THANK, GIVE

My Jesus-Year Jukebox continues. . .

Choke down your cran-turkey-slurry with 33 tracks, thankfully arranged with the gift of aural tryptophan close in mind (or something like the opposite).  Aural football maybe?:

The Killer -- From a Shaman's Notebook
I'm an Indian, Too -- Don Armando
Thanks, Bitch -- Avenue D
Give Me A Beat -- Girl Talk
Give Thanks -- The Romanian Orphan Choir
Be Thankful -- Natalie Cole
Give U More -- Dizzee Rascal
Thanks-A-Lot -- Dengue Fever
(For God's Sake) Give More Power To The People -- The Chi-Lites
Thanks A Lot -- Neko Case & Her Boyfriends
I Don't Give A Fuck -- Peaches
Thank You -- Bombadil
Just Give It To Me Raw -- Busta Rhymes
Thank You For Your Love -- Antony and the Johnsons
God Knows (You Gotta Give To Get) -- El Perro Del Mar
I Am a Poor Pilgrim of Sorrow -- Old Regular Baptists
Please and Thank You -- Wildcat! Wildcat!
Our Givest -- Danielson
Shoo Turkey -- From "Been in the Storm So Long"
Give And Go -- Girl Talk
The Pilgrim - Thanksgiving Song -- Randy Brothers
Give Him Cornbread -- Beau Jocque & The Zydeco Hi-Rollers
Give Your Hands To Struggle -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I wanna give it to you in the butt
You Give Me A Boner -- Anton Glamb
Quapaw Peyote Song at 45 RPM -- Louis W. Ballard
Givers -- Lucky Dragon
Turkey Song -- Mike, Peggy, Barbara & Penny Seeger
Give Me the Night -- George Benson
Give Up -- Okay
Give You What I Got -- Wendy Rene
Thanksgiving Dinner -- Mike Phirman
Thank You -- Bruce Haack

Download HERE

I SEE PENIS: CAKE

 "Baby shower"

If you have a sweet tooth that won't quit but are sick of Thanksgiving pie, try one of these tasty cakes instead.  

Courtesy of BSD reader Newbold and the blog "Cake Wrecks":

 "Elf"

 "Palm Tree"

 "Old MacDonald"

 "UFO"

"Lighthouse"

NAME THAT VEGGIE: A CSA SURPRISE!

I've got a prize for the first reader that correctly identifies this massive member of the celery family that played a major role in the Karl Marxxx Thanksgiving weekend.

HAPPY THANKSFISTING: WHEN BASTING ISN'T ENOUGH

Just wash your hands afterwards.

I SEE BOOBIES: PLY-MOUTH

TURKEY TITS 

. . . And just cause I'm gaaay to stay, and dumb enough to care (despite my overwhelming masculine equanimity), Thanksgiving day themed nails:

For those among you illiterate to our American customs, that's Plymouth governor William Bradford (clockwise from the upper left), Rudolph, Squanto, a duck and corn on the cob.

PASS THE GRAVY

From BSD reader Gio . . . to Me . . . to You: Give thanks, and pass the gravy boat.

COLBY DOES KAI KAI

For all you Drag Race fans out there, I couldn't resist featuring my own kai kai post in honor of season 4's final three.  A few months back I went to see Leslie and the LYs in Baltimore with fellow performer Dale Cooper.  If you're familiar with Leslie's DIY aesthetic, you'll know why Dale and I dressed to the 9s.  Leslie scouts the crowd at her concerts for the best sweater in the pack then rechristens the garment in an elaborate naming ceremony on stage.

WAAAAY back in day, before Leslie hit full-hardon hipster stardom, BSD Minister of Propaganda Karl Marxxx and I hosted Leslie for Thanksgiving Dinner.  She performed later that evening at Karl's dance party in DC.  Not only did I have the distinct honor of hoisting Leslie's elegant avoirdupois on stage in a makeshift sling consisting of a meager leather belt and a single 2X4, she blessed by yiddishe momme bling with an official honorific and a handmade certificate: "Gypsy Lizard Coin Purse".

Naturally, Dale and I also found ourselves on stage, two of only three handpicked contestants-- despite the fact my googly eye jumpsuit doesn't technically qualify as a gem sweater.  An eerie harbinger of season 4's penultimate final episode, the three of us were forced to provide backup choreography for Leslie's song "Gem Sweater".  Sadly, Dale and I lost the opportunity to have our outfits officially blessed by Leslie.  The other contestant, a bio-female in authentic LY attire, won the privilege (it helps to wear gold lamé tights and granny glasses).  Honored all the same, Dale and I had other things planned for our (now sweaty) gem encrusted ensembles.

To watch Dale and I Kai Kai for real, check out our starring roles in Jake Deckard's cum-drenched cum-back skin-flick, "Dirty Director". 

 Baring my best for Leslie's drum kit.

A very special gem for Dale, courtesy of Colby. 

GOAT STEW FOR YOU TOO. . .

 Karl Marxxx, Colby Keller and Special Agent Dale Cooper

For those of you that couldn't make it, a few mementos from Thanksgiving on LoveGrove Alley. . .

 Karl Marxxx baking pies (Chocolate pecan and apple.  Yum)

 Tamales

Not very appetizing on my shitty camera phone, but delicious in person (from top left): Trout, cranberry salsa, mofongo, brussels sprouts with toasted pecans, quinoa with cherries, Afghan pumpkin with mint yogurt sauce (under foil), cauliflower casserole, roasted fennel with walnuts, kholrabi greens with garlic. 

The main entrée: Curaçao goat stew with homemade tamale

 Karl Marxxx dutifully protecting the pie table.

 Dessert, absent Dale Cooper's Bonofee cream pie.  I made the pignoli on the right. 

Buddacup keepin' warm on the heating vent. 

I SEE PENIS: BAKER IN THE MINESHAFT

Toasting leftover pumpkin seeds this evening, a bowl of melted butter serendipitously spilled to reveal this indelibly phallic omen on the countertop.  Despite my recent case of Cassandra Complex (I've had an annoying knack for predicting tragic happenings all week), be not weary. . .  No cock is a bad cock.  Good things to cum!

In case you're not familiar with the game 'Baker in the Mineshaft' (any gay man-- sans dairy fat-- likely will without knowing it), please consult the "engagement episode" of Everybody Loves Raymond.  Gotta love definition by consensus.

ADIEU MON AMOUR

One last farewell to the Thanksgiving leftovers in my fridge.  

Photo courtesy of Free Press Houston and Mark C. Austin

I SEE PENIS: STIR CRAZY

You know you are going stir crazy when you are stuck at home with the fam and start seeing cock on the Thanksgiving Day table.  BSD reader Kyle happened on this lovely lil fucker while unwrapping his silverware.  Gobble Gobble.

HEY THERE PILGRIM

I'm not covered in silver belt buckles (not even one!) or strictly wearing black.  I can't even claim a giant felt hat, 10 gallons or otherwise.  That said, I often conflate "cowboy" with pilgrim.  The ultimate American masculine signifier must have a legacy in our national founding myth too right?  Maybe I should just blame John Wayne.  Or Indians.  They pop up in both myths, the perfect "communal" foil to match the rugged individual Calvinist narrative our Nation loves so much.  

Either way, here is a Thanksgiving treat just for you: Colby as Cowboy, courtesy of Raging Stallion's latest release.  There were a lot of cowpokes in this one.  I didn't make first cut-- maybe I should have been an Indian?  Don't despair, scroll over to find me in Disc 2: COWBOYS.  Or just admire my big cowpoke here.

GOBBLE GOBBLE!!! A BIG SHOE FEAST!

Colby Dong Il photo courtesy of Twitter Feed: @cleverprime

Hey Big Shoe Fans and "friends of Colby"-

Colby Keller and Dale Cooper get pumped up for food prep!

I don't get to say this enough.  I am so thankful for YOU.  I've had such a great experience with the blog the past two years and the greatest part of it is the interaction I've had with all of you.  From the I SEE PENIS posts, individually created Colby Art, blog/video ideas, insightful/helpful (and even corrective) comments, to the graciously written notes of love and appreciation, not to mention the many generous donations you have made the past two years an amazing experience for me.  And I am so thankful to get to share it with you.  If I were a better planner (maybe next year), I'd have hosted a HUGE THANKSGIVING MEAL for all of us to share and sit down together at...but since I'm just now getting around to cooking up a storm, I thought I'd share some pics.

Karl Marxxx, Dale Cooper & Colby Keller get to work!!!

Lots of love to you all!  Hope everyone gets to spend time with friends, family and chosen family...and if you're somewhere by yourself, know that Colby loves you and virtually invites you to dine with me...and cum with me after the meal (you know, there's like videos and stuff to help with that).

Big Shoe Colby Hugs.

Thanksgiving Dishes being Prepared and Shared at the Baltimore Collective today:

Savory
Curacao Goat Stew
Filet of Trout
Homemade Tamales
Brioche
Cranberry Apple Relish
Cauliflower Casserole
Kaddo Bourani (aka Afghani Pumpkin Yogurt Compote)
Roasted Fennel with Walnuts and Currants
Brussels Sprouts, Toasted Pecans and Kale Chips
Kohlrabi Greens with Toasted Garlic and Soy Sauce
Mofongo

Sweet

Dark Chocolate Pecan Pie

Lattice-Top Apple 

Banoffee Pie

Drinks

Dandelion Wine

Humboldt Brown (Hemp Brewed Beer)

Local Baltimore Brewer's Art Resurrection Ale

Karl Marxxx likes beer so much that he becomes one.