KINEXTING

To all you wealthy Santas out there, I have some good news!  The top line item on my list this year is relatively affordable (a mere hundred bucks), the Xbox Kinect.  While my recent foray into the world of 3-D printing at the Museum of Art and Design this past October only ended in disappointment, the experience inspired some creative ideaers for future projects.  My body scan somehow left me with a third arm-- an impossible fix according to the kind folks at Shapeways.  There will be no miniature naked Colbys for sale anytime soon.  But . . . Perhaps . . . I could print off my own porn instead?  Frame. By fucking Frame. (literally)

That's essentially what Spanish artist Alejandro Gomez-Arias and his girlfriend did.  Using a Kinect, Alejandro recording himself fucking his girlfriend and posted the results on Vimeo.  Just think what Colby and friends could do with a scanner and, well, a much more costly Christmas present . . . a 3-D printer? :-)

VAGINA DENTATA

I might also suggest "Teeth" if you need a good genital-themed scare this Halloween.  

"WheelClawsTeeth", 2006, by Elona van Gent.  

  

COLBY'S RIDE: POWER DRILL

Whose this lil' feller?  I'm normally the power drill!

"Rapid Racer", the world's first fully functional vehicle 3-D printed in one piece, powered completely by a cordless drill by Johannes Zäuner, Barbara Kotte, and Andreas Schulz, on exhibit at "Out of Hand: Materializing the Post-digital" at the Museum of Art and Design (MAD) in NYC.

COLBY CLONED!

Let the Revolution begin!

Solely slinging Kock-lish-wackovs and Samson-esque "locks of love" my army of Nano-Colbys will soon conquer the world!!!  But first they have to dry on the shelf at MAD.  Earlier today Shapeways released a 3-D print of my digital scan in the buff.  

COLBY GETS MAD

More from MAD (The Museum of Art and Design) and "Out of Hand", an exhibition that explores art and design in the digital age:

electronic potter's wheel

Richard Dupont, "Untitled", 2008

The T/Shirt Issue, "Muybridge", 2013

Lionel T. Dean, "Holy Ghost Chair", 2006

Demakersvan, "Cinderella Table", 2008

Laura Alvarado and Vivian Meller, "Portrait Me", 2011- 2013

Joshua DeMonte, "Cathedral Collar", 2009

Wim Delvoye, "Twisted Dump Truck", 2011

Greg Lynn, "Dog Shelf from Toy Furniture", 2008

Me "fisting" a lamp

"Speak, Blow, Whistle" vases

COLBY IN THE ROUND

Getting older makes me MAD. . . Museum of Art and Design MAD!  I guess finally found my real parents.  The museum made me after-all, in a certain matter of speaking.

Confused?  

It all started last week, on my birthday.  I hiked up to MAD in Columbus Circle to see "Out of Hand" an exhibition exploring art and design in the post-digital age.  In addition to a device that allows you to build a lamp simply by blowing into a microphone (or moaning suggestively in my case), the museum offers a complete head-to-toe 3-D digital body scan courtesy of Shapeways . . . for FREE!  

Upon completion of your scan (using a re-purposed Xbox as a scanner I should add), Shapeways then digitally prints a miniaturized 3-D version of yourself in resin for display in the exhibition.  Shapeways also provides versions in full color-- as well as gold and silver-- for purchase from their website.  Naturally, I tore off my clothes and hopped on the scanner before guards had a chance to tell me otherwise.  A flutter of walkie-talkie chatter temporarily stunned my senses and I nearly fell off the small DIY scanner platform (built on top of a bicycle wheel).  For a hot minute I thought I might get arrested.  

While the museum assures me I'll be the only visitor honored with a complimentary "birthday-suit special" I highly recommend a visit. . . And not just for the free scan.  You can also see my microscopic mini-penis on full display!  And lots of other incredibly cool stuff too.     

EIGHT MIRACULOUS INCHES FOR EIGHT MIRACULOUS NIGHTS

I realize most of you will spend the next few weeks frantically searching for the ideal gift this holiday season. What exactly does Colby need you might be asking yourself?  Well, truth be told, I need a lot.  It's a hard-knock life as a 30-something sex worker.  Loads and love go a long way.  I appreciate any and all porn viewers who select one of my videos out of the thousands of porn titles available to bust a nut this holiday break.  If you prefer a live session, look for me on RandyBlue Live this weekend.    

If you've frantically searched for the right book on my Amazon Wishlist but just can't decide which one conveys BOTH the perfect Hanukah and Kwanzaa sentiment (not to mention good ole XXXmas and solstice), I'm here to help.  Give the gift of dick!  If you live in the NYC area you have til Monday to make your very own dildo (based on a digital scan of your very own erection or that of your favorite horse hung fuckbud).  3DEA, a 3-D printing store at 6th Avenue and 29th street in Manhattan is hosting an adults only 3-D photo booth.  Unfortunately, I can't make it up this weekend before the digital dick scanning station closes.  While $250 might bust the budget of most BSD readers, it's worth it.  Unlike most cumbersome and demanding DIY dildo kits, you only need to keep your erection for 3 seconds while the scanner does all the work.  New York's queer Toy Collective will process your digital dick into a realistic silicone approximation of your actual penis.  

Then you can send it to me!  

Fuck Colby virtually AND support a sex-positive collective of hard working queer elves in Santa's sex toy shoppe.  What could possibly fulfill all the holidays' spirit better???  You'll even hit the "handmade gift" obligations of Kwanzaa.             

Book an appointment with 3DEA HERE.  

Whatever present you send, big or small, book or bulge, will get a big return from me (LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of LOVE) and a small physical token of my appreciation-- an individually handmade piece of original Colby Keller artwork, the gift of reciprocal dick.  Yes, my very own.  I'll send you a beautiful print courtesy of lil Chris Kringle himself.  Happy Holidays-- whichever one you choose to celebrate.