THE DOG OF JESUS

Sure to offend devote Muslim students everywhere, "The Dog of Jesus" purports to tell the tail of the incredible "discovery of an immortal dog with miracle healing powers".  I discovered the book on the "free rack" outside the University of Baltimore Athletic Center, where I use the gym. 

While the back jacket goes far enough to explain the general plot, I also highly recommend the writer's bio, itself the inspiring story of how one nagging Taiwanese bride inspired the greatest story ever told.  Inspirational!

"About the Author":

I SEE PENIS: DAPPLED

I'm sure this happens to almost everyone at some point: You wake up in the morning to look down and discover a huge erection where you didn't see one before.  At least that's what happened one morning this week for BSD reader Buckles in Montréal, who looked down at his dog to discoverer a HUGE thick cock-and-balls straddling his dog's dappled back like a saddle.  Giddy up little doggie.    

I SEE PENIS: CABINET OF CURIOSITY

I know exactly what you're thinking. . . Yuuummmmy!

Auntcle Pat's homemade pickled dill-doughs!  Everyone's favorite.

Actually no.  Sorry to disappoint, but the dildos and dog toys carefully displayed in specimen jars are art, not edible.  The piece, one of several by artist Mark Dion, is currently on view at the Tanya Bonakdar gallery in New York City.

To familiarize yourself with Dion's work, check out his profile on Art:21.  Or better yet, see it in person, on view until April 13th.      

TO PEE OR NOT TO PEE: A DOG NAMED HAMLET

You know that moment right before you leave the house?  Should I pee now?  Should I pee when I get there?  It can be a sticky dilemma.  Well, you're not alone and now you can experience a doggie-style version of Hamlet's soliloquy as performed by Hamlet the Dog.  The Doggie owners are "friends of Colby's" and this pooch's pee pondering is about to go viral.

I SEE PENIS: LONGER HOURS, LEGENDARY SERVICE

The competition for cutest canine I SEE PENIS gets one candidate tougher with this contribution by America's Most Convenient Bank.

To pick your favorite candidate, check out the other contenders: a serendipitously marked Jack Russell terrier and a fluffy phallic Llasa Apso.  

I SEE PENIS: SARAH PALIN'S ALASKA

Beautiful Wasilla has a lot to recommend it: unspoiled Alaskan wilderness, feisty showboat former governors and a fine tradition of brushed-steel sign art.  If your sign were this big you'd want to spend all day rubbing it too. 

I'm told by BSD reader Brian that the sign actually depicts a dog-musher and his team of Malamutes.  You be the judge.  ;-)

I SEE PENIS: PUP

It looks like the most adWORable I SEE PENIS post of all time has a run for its money.  I'm pretty sure this isn't a stuffed toy, as I first suspected, but a puppy.  My guess?  A Lhasa Apso. 

A special thank you to all four different blog readers who sent this picture in today.  If I had a litter of pups, you'd get first pick. 

I SEE PENIS: JACK RUSSELL

Finally!  The perfect best friend for "Lil Colby".  And I thought I was cute!!!!

Thanks to blog reader Ed for sending this one in. . . The most adWORable I SEE PENIS of all time!  

PET SEMEN-TARY

Classic B horror movie, a song by the Ramones, and an underwater cenote in Mexico you can tour, It also makes the perfect Halloween stop-over for a mid-afternoon shag.  Um.  Shaggy dog that is.  Don't worry, I didn't desecrate any graves or resurrect any kitties. . . Or did I?

DOG DAYS OF SUMMER

Fuck finding a job.  I just want to be this dog.

COLBY DOGGELGÄNGER: HOLLY

Not only do I look just like Holly (pictured above) we share almost identical bios: " I just can't get enough of you.  Whoever you are I already like you.  I'm such a people person.  I love to play and joke around.  Don't worry I'm gentle with kids and other dogs.  If you have any I'd love to meet them.  We can all go for a walk together." 

According to Doggelganger, a New Zealand based animal adoption service, we are a 60% match.  All I need now is a couple grand for a plane ticket and a enough money to buy the parking lot next to my apartment and replace it with grass.  Kiwi or not, log on to find your own canine clone.  

Thanks to BSD reader Lance for passing this along.  Now, more pictures of ME!  Yay.  

IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY...BUT I WISH IT WERE...

I love birthday parties. I love cake. I love silliness. I love poodles. I love the way mom really cares.

*** Mommy Birthday Cake photo removed temporarily pending legal settlement.