THE DOG OF JESUS

Sure to offend devote Muslim students everywhere, "The Dog of Jesus" purports to tell the tail of the incredible "discovery of an immortal dog with miracle healing powers".  I discovered the book on the "free rack" outside the University of Baltimore Athletic Center, where I use the gym. 

While the back jacket goes far enough to explain the general plot, I also highly recommend the writer's bio, itself the inspiring story of how one nagging Taiwanese bride inspired the greatest story ever told.  Inspirational!

"About the Author":

HOUSE OF STRENGTH: SHIA LEBEOUF

What do Shia Islam and Shia Lebeouf have in common?  . . . A thirst for strength and a love of muscle?

No.

They share the same name.  That's the answer.

Shia L is hot and all but he's hardly a muscle queen.  That hasn't stopped generations of Shia Muslims from training their bodies (and minds) to defend the Hidden Imam (and now the Islamic Republic of Iran) thru the ancient art of body building.  If you thought Christians were the only ones to stumble on the eccentric curiousity of holy hammer curls, you'd be wrong.

I was sitting in bed watching Netflix, like I do most Friday nights, this time "Pilgrimage to Karbala", a documentary profiling several bus-loads of Iranian pilgrims on a deadly journey across the Iraqi border to the holy shrine of Karbala, the site of Imam Hussein's brutal murder at the hands of the Evil Caliph Yazid, and up pops the Zoorkhaneh, or "House of Strength"--a type of gym really-- but also the site of a specific form of masculine, fraternal bonding that deploys giant wooden clubs, synchronized dancing and a fervent belief in building better bodies to combat spiritual warfare.  Right up my alley. . . My falafel alley.  You know, right near my hummus hole?  It's the alley that takes you straight to my brain.

;-)  

If you like nearly-unintelligible robotic translation-narration as much as I do, today's your lucky day: 

EIGHT DAYS A WEEK: HAM-ON-RYES

"The sight of him between sets, waiting for a fifty-pound plate or something, his muscles pink and pumped, his threadbare tank-top falling down over one shoulder and exposing a big brown nipple, made my blood rush straight downward and caused a serious over-crowding problem in my jock strap.  He looked so juicy, it was often all I could do not to take a bite out of him right there by the squat rack."

--p. 185

Chapter 48 of Larry Duplechan's Eight Days a Week:

EIGHT DAYS A WEEK: CHAPTER 11

If only I could file Chapter 11 every week. . . Sigh.

This weeks notable quot appears on page 56: "Coach's big, long-toed feet were bare, the chest I'd longed to view was suddenly visible to me; and he was, it seemed, even more splendid in the flesh than in my wild teenage imaginings."

Right on schedule, Chapter 11 of Larry Duplechan's "Eight Days A Week":

LUNK ALARM

Now we just need an alarm for all those annoying people who fill up their bottles at the busy water fountain.  

I SEE PENIS: WET SPOT

The last place my eyes usually land at the gym is the ceiling.  Unless of course, I'm on the bench press (and I don't have a spot).  In either case, I'm still usually thinking about one thing, and if you read this blog with any regularity, you know what that one thing is.  All the way around the globe, on the opposite side of the planet, there is another man with a similar mind.  Like the appearance of the Chi-Rho to Roman emperor Constantine, Owen the Aussie looked into the heavens and what did he see?  A dropped grid ceiling marked with the sign of the cock.   If you haven't already, convert!

I SEE PENIS: BIKE

I know we've all packed on a few extra pounds this holiday season. What a better to shave off a few extra inches than a hard bike ride . .  Especially one that will turn you into a boy.   

COLBY AT THE GYM

Another sweaty morning at the gym...there's the moment right at the end of a workout (or sex) where it feels so good to be drenched in your own (and someone else's) sweat...and then it reaches the point where it's kinda gross and you need to shower - i think my face is suggesting i was at the transition point in this pic.

BRITISH BOYS WORKING OUT

So, I posted a pic of me working out yesterday that reminded me of my own gym obsessed youth. I came across a hilarious web story about young British guys who are also getting into lifting and gaining weight. I am blaming the stunningly hot models at MenAtPlay for making blokes worry so much about looking ridiculous out of their suits, but it's interesting to notice the cultural shift in Britain towards bigger, buffer bods. I'm sure there's also a relationship at play with that reality show where the crazy lady analyzes unhealthy British people's shit too...Watch the video. I love the reporter talking in the gym while the guys are doing dips in unison. In porn, we call that background sex.

COLBY AT THE GYM

So, I love to go to the gym. I've been going pretty regularly since high school when I got out of a Physical Education requirement by doing a gym log. I was required to go one hour a day five days a week. I got so into it that I started going two hours a day seven days a week...at age 16. Needless to say, I enjoy that feeling at the end of the workout, spent and sweaty....and did I mention how sweaty I get? :)