CRUISE CONTROL

BSD reader Ken sent me a stack of the wrong kind of porn, two jocks and a pair socks for Xmas.  It's been so long since I've had sex (or played sports?), I can't say I remember how to put two jocks on at the same time, but I gave it every valiant effort.  Thank you Ken!

JOCKSTRAP PATTERNED NECK TIE...BECAUSE WE SHOULD

...because some of us like the idea of a jockstrap, but only have the occasion to wear neck ties...