E S PEEN

 

Or ASSPN as I might have it, covering everything from soccer. . .

Baseball. . .

Hockey. . .

Behind the scenes locker room coverage. . .

parkour. . .

triathlons. . .

and Boneco, the world's first bee keeping donkey. . .

CRUISE CONTROL

BSD reader Ken sent me a stack of the wrong kind of porn, two jocks and a pair socks for Xmas.  It's been so long since I've had sex (or played sports?), I can't say I remember how to put two jocks on at the same time, but I gave it every valiant effort.  Thank you Ken!

BONERS FOR BOOKS: ALL PLAYERS

I need no extra help getting a boner for this one, photographer Rick Day's "All Players".  Special appreciation goes to BSD reader Andrew for the all-natural erection ASS-istance.  Believe it or not, "All Players" taught me an important lesson about myself: as much as I like dick (and there are A LOT of pretty dicks in this book), I am DEFINITELY an ass-man.  

Blurry laptop quality aside, this was my favorite photo in the book, evidenced below by a very eager Mr. Pee-purrs:

ART ON THE PORN SET

  

Found on set in Hotlanta: jackoff starlet page one . . . and on the flipside: "Keepin it Mutha Fuckin Real Real Mutha Real Keepin it Mutha Real Keepin Mutha Fuckin Keepin it Real"

ARTISTS I LIKE: TAD BECK

from the series "Jackstands" 2011

I had the honor to visit artist Tad Beck's New York studio a few weeks ago.  Beck uses photography and video in a critical dialog with both medium's "documentary" propensities and privileges-- painfully recreating spontaneous activities, re-documenting the documentation, layering photos of photos on top of photos.  If that doesn't grab your frontal lobe like it grabs mine, Beck makes sure to include enough straight boy cock and ass-- with a gloss of New England sun and sport (WASP lovers watch out)-- to satisfy anyone's artless voyueristic side (artfully executed for those who like to think while they look).  I'm certainly a big fan.  

Pull out your oars boys and start rowing.  You might get wet and it's well worth it.   

    

from the series "Capsize" 2011

Stroke-2006 from Tad Beck 

Fuxy 2002 from Tad Beck

Atlantic | Pacific 2009 from Tad Beck 

Mast Jump, 2012

COLBY CRUSH: BUTTFUMBLE

There are a lot of reasons to dislike New York Jets' quarterback Mark Sanchez.  Fellow teammates call him lazy and have frequently berated him in public for consistently avoiding practice.  Thankfully, I know nothing about (nor care nothing for) football.  I have it on good word that the Jets are one of the worst teams playing.  That said, how can you not love a prettyboy jock who models shirtless for GQ and answers to the less-than-affectionate nickname "Buttfumble".  Jets fans have even taken to wearing homemade jerseys emblazoned with the cutesy taunt, which Sanchez won during a recent game by slamming into the ass of a fellow teammate, inadvertently tossing the ball to the opposing team.

Add this cute fact to the flame: The Jets are also owned by one Mr. Woody Johnson.  As a primary campaign bundler for failed presidential candidate Mit Romney, Johnson can add a third "dick" to his personal euphemism collection. . . a fact that endears me all the more to the failed Jets and their adorable quarterback, Buttfumble.

Watch the fumble here:

BODIES WE WANT . . . (TO FUCK)

 Carlos Bocanegra

More from the ESPN "Bodies We Want" photo editorial.  The real question . . . cut or uncut?

Carlos Bocanegra, Defender, U.S. men's national soccer team

 Carlos Bocanegra: 33 yr old, 6'0", 170 lbs

 Danell Leyva, US Gymnast: 20 yr old, 5'7", 165 lbs

 Danell Leyva

 Danell Leyva

 Tyson Chandler, Center, NY Nicks: 29 yr old, 7'1", 240 lbs

 Tyson Chandler

Coverboy Rob Gronkowski, tight end, New England Patriots: 23, 6'6", 265 lbs

 Abby Wambach, forward, US women's soccer: 32, 5'11", 170 lbs

 Brad Richards, center NY Rangers: 32, 6'0", 195 lbs

 Jose Bautista, right fielder, Toronto Blue Jays: 31, 6'0", 190 lbs

 Mike Smith, jockey: 46, 5'4", 115 lbs

 Walter Dix, sprinter: 26, 5'10", 195 lbs

 Walter Dix

 Oksana Masters, paralympic rower: 23, 5'8" 125 lbs

 Oksana Masters

 Ashton Eaton, decathalete: 24, 6'1", 185 lbs

Tim Morehouse, USA fencer  and silver medalist at the 2008 Beijing Olympics: 33, 6'2", 200 lbs (almost exactly the same stats as Colby K.)

 Anna Tunnicliffe, sailor, U.S. sailing team: 29, 5'6", 146 lbs

Maya Gabeira, big wave surfer: 25, 5'6", 125 lbs